I am off, driving up the coast on my trip to the Monterey Bay, California area, this weekend. I heard the reports that there are many whales and other marine animals in abundance there. Taking a whale watching boat to see for myself. There are a few species of whales I hope to see, Humpbacks, Blue, Orcas, and maybe some Grays. Will report when I get back. Due to the weekend of whale watching and possibly Monarch Butterfly watching I may not be posting my usual writing. Get back to you next week….
Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by the lovely LindaGHill
There’s a Conference in the U.K. All About Werewolves Next Month. This from the Smithsonian on my Facebook page kind of tickled my funny bone. I want to go. It stimulates the imagination too. OK story, mild mannered older woman goes to UK for Werewolf Conference and is really enjoying it when one night when the moon is full she feels “some pricking in her thumbs”……….Or mild mannered older woman attending Werewolf Conference and having a great time by the way and one night when the moon is full she feels a strange urge and looks in the mirror and thinks oh my I need some new moisture cream because look at my skin and I think I need to tweeze out a few hairs here!
“Women, are you sick of being bombarded with advertisements that depict women as sexual objects? That use our bodies to sell products? That embolden men to disrespect us? That tell us we are not worthy unless we conform to unrealistic, sexist, racist, and unhealthy beauty standards?” ( National Women’s Liberation)
A campaign by National Women’s Liberation and Red Stocking to place stickers on ads that are exploitive of women and, I like the last sentence, “tell us we are not worthy unless we conform to unrealistic, sexist, racist and unhealthy beauty standards.”
Do you see a contradiction between breast augmentation, push up bras, and minimizer bras? It seems like we are never supposed to be happy with the way we are.
Are you ready for this? I am ready as I’ll ever be. I answer this way when I am thinking of doing something pretty far outside of my comfort zone. It means I am ready to throw myself into something however not ready I may be. Things aren’t going to get any better so I may as well forge ahead. Face the fear and uncertainty and step out onto the stage.
One thing I am never ready for is being in a high place. Things like bungee jumping, sky diving or hiking along the edge of a high cliff. I know I could work on overcoming these fears but I am not ready yet.
A recurrent bad dream I have (thankfully not too often) is that I am walking along or toward the edge of a very, very high cliff and suddenly I am pulled to the edge and over it. I have this horrible feeling in my stomach and, oh no! , here I go over the edge and have the sensation of falling a long way down until….I end up in the ocean below.
I know I would not like going to the Grand Canyon and looking over the edge or riding one of those little donkeys down those narrow little, slippery paths to the floor of the canyon either. There is this Sky Walk platform that loops out from the edge of the canyon. It is clear plastic so you can see through your feet to all the way down below. Hey if we were meant to “sky walk” we would have wings right?
I think the trouble is I have a good imagination and I can imagine the donkey coming across a rattlesnake on the path ….or my donkey being kicked by another donkey ….or losing it’s footing and….if I ever rode one down I would have to look at that skinny little path and see how high up I was. You know how they tell you when you are climbing up a high mountain, “Don’t look down.” I could imagine that Sky Walk coming loose from its cantilevers or whatever is bolting it to the cliff and…or the walkway starts to crack under the weight of so many people…or someone bumps me over the rail and ….you get the idea.
I received notification today that this is my One Year Anniversary with WordPress. I have learned a few things since I started and still have more things to learn. It has been great to meet other bloggers who have stayed my readers. I really appreciate it! I hope to continue to inspire you all to continue reading my posts and welcome others who may want to join in. 🙂
We have all heard about how it is important to have social connections, important for our well-being. But making connections can be daunting for someone with an Introvert temperament. There needs to be a good fit. I have felt this in my own life when looking for outside interests. I did not see this issue addressed in any books or articles I had read other than to say how introverts can push themselves out and try to be more extroverted. Until I saw this post by Emily White.
In her post she talks about how she was made to leave an environment that had been ideally suited to her and move back to a big city. This was interesting to me because I have felt as she did about the city environment. I live near Los Angeles which definitely qualifies as a big city. What is daunting about such a big city is that there is so much of it and this can be a bit overwhelming. You have to really focus in and look around to find your niche in such a big place. It is like looking at a big cluttered room and trying to decide what to do first and where to begin. Ms. White gave me some food for thought and showed me that you can succeed in making connections as an introvert even in a big city. She doesn’t say we have to morph into an extrovert or do extroverted activities that involve things that introverts do not like such as making a lot of small talk or participating in groups. Unless the group is involved in a cause we are passionate about.
I really like that she is addressing this and discussing how she found connections that fit her. It is good to see posts like this because it gives support to people who want to make connections but want to feel comfortable doing so and do it in their own way.
Since I have started into a semi-retired stage, I have been looking for activities and projects that are engaging to me. I have done the usual book group at the library and I am doing volunteer and paid tutoring. My blog is something very new for me. I definitely was not into social media and I do think introverts approach social media differently from extroverts. I can get very overloaded with social media and the internet. So I am working at balancing my involvement. Which means limiting the time I spend on WordPress, Facebook and email. There must be time set aside for reflection and quiet pursuits.
Some views of Los Angeles, a very big city, and some parts of it that suit my interests, (not the crowded freeways).
I have read two great posts recently about how it is all right and even good to choose a simple life over a life that is publicly recognized and acclaimed as successful. We all hear so much about what it means to be a success, how to set goals, and not give up on our ambitions. If we haven’t fulfilled those goals and ambitions we can feel guilty and let down. Maybe we just didn’t try hard enough.
It was nice to read these posts about how it is possible to think that living a quieter life, without lofty goals, is perfectly fine. That there are people who have found the quiet life very rewarding and satisfying. The first post is by David Brooks, The Small, Happy Life. Brooks had asked readers to submit essays about how they found their purpose in life. He was surprised with some of the responses. He said, I expected most contributors would follow the commencement-speech clichés of our high-achieving culture: dream big; set ambitious goals; try to change the world. I will quote from one of the responses he received.
Terence J. Tollaksen responded:
“I have always admired those goal-oriented, stubborn, successful, determined individuals; they make things happen, and the world would be lost without them.” But, he explains, he has always had a “small font purpose.”
“I can say it worked for me. I know it sounds so Midwest, but it’s been wonderful. I have a terrific wife, 5 kids, friends from grade school and high school, college, army, friends locally, and sometimes, best of all, horses, dogs, and cats. Finally, I have a small industrial business that I started and have run for 40 years based on what I now identify as principles of ‘Pope Francis capitalism.’ ”
Oh, for more capitalists like Mr. Tollaksen!
The second post I read was Oh What to Beby Kelly Quirino. In it she describes what is was like for her to be an identified “gifted” child in elementary school at 5 years of age. How the high expectations of her teachers and community created so much stress for her. She would vomit every day before school. Her mother finally withdrew her from the gifted program. Kelly grew up to have a quiet life dedicated to her children. She says:
” I’m not a surgeon, a scientist, a CEO, or a Nobel Prize winner. What I want out of life is to live simply, honestly, and humbly. My ambitions are to show my children that they are loved and to make the world around me a little better, a little more beautiful, and a little more peaceful. In my heart, I feel like this is a worthy way to spend my time in this world.”
Kelly says she still feels guilty at times about her life choices. That she did not fulfill society’s expectations for someone with her abilities. Isn’t it time to redefine success or at least broaden the definition? Can’t there be more than one type of success? I agree we need all those goal-oriented people but we would be lost without all the quiet ones. And we have to allow each of us to chose which life fits us best.
Some of things I cherish most are the memories I have of my children as they were growing up and the memorabilia from that time I have saved over the years. I have saved some of their art work, letters, cards, and little gifts from them when they were small. I know I have a large box in the garage containing samples of my kids’ art work and school papers. I could not bring myself to throw the stuff out. Many of these mementos from my children are inside my house as well. How can I say which one is most cherished. That seems unfair.
I often come across them when I am going through my dresser drawer, closets or armoire. They evoke memories of my kids at a certain age and feelings of such deep love and the poignancy of times passed and sometimes laughter.
Some of the things might be, a drawing, a hand-made Mother’s Day card, a note from my daughter saying she loves me, a letter from my son away at camp, a box of their baby clothes, the toy elephant I was given by a friend after my son was born that plays “You Are My Sunshine”, or my daughter’s first Mary Jane shoes. I can’t pick just one. Maybe this is why I can’t part with them either.
Some dispassionate person will have to decide the fate of these things after I am no longer of this world.
Baby dress, elephant, and Mary Jane shoes
Some cherished gifts
This is post is my contribution to Cherished Blogfest. You can read other great posts and link up to participate yourself. 🙂
What is considered to be beautiful is always changing, over the years and across cultures. I think the young woman in the above image may have a “wheat belly.” ( a reference to a popular book about gluten free diets). She is a little soft and pudgy according to current beauty standards. Her belly is bulging out a bit.
Opinions about diet are always changing as well. There are so many changes in just the past 20 years. Remember all the talk about low fat diets and heart health. I stayed away from butter and ate margarine for years to find that now we know margarine is actually very bad for you. And then no red meat. I followed that advice as well and did not eat red meat. Now I hear that the low fat diet caused many people to eat too much sugar, which is worse, and that some fats are good for us. And it was artificial sweeteners are good and then they were bad. Now sugar is bad again. Then coffee is good, coffee is bad, or wine is good, wine is bad. White wine is not as good as red. No white wine is ok. Now red is better as long as its organic. Confusing isn’t it.
It is amazing how there are so many books and posts telling us how to be better at everything. How to eat, have sex, be mindful, find purpose and exercise in just the right ways.
This got me thinking about body image in general and women’s body image in particular. I want to be comfortable with my body and it’s image even if it is not the ideal. Women spend a good part of their lives worried about their appearance and weight, scrutinizing their bodies in the mirror to see how they measure up to the latest popular image.
I have read many articles on this topic and this lead to a website called Beauty Redefined. I am sure there are others out there that are as good but I do like a lot of what this one has to say. It belongs to Lexie and Lindsay Kite, who have PhDs in media and body image. In there own words, We have a passion for helping girls and women recognize, reject and resist harmful messages about their bodies and what “beauty” means and lookslike. I am learning there is a lot of resistance against all the dieting and the popular media images of beauty. This is a positive thing.
This a great little short film by Em Ford, a very courageous young woman, who demonstrates how women are judged by their appearance. And how some commenters on social media are sociopaths.
There is resistance to dieting as well. In her book Body of Truth, Harriet Brown talks about how she learned to become comfortable with her body at a weight that felt comfortable to her. She makes a convincing argument about the futility of dieting and how all the hype about obesity is overblown. She talks about her own daughter’s struggle with anorexia and how this experience helped her and her family change their attitudes toward food. She includes some of her own process that she developed through therapy to be able to relax about eating and not be obsessed about diet.
Another website I have discovered is Refinery 29 that has some good posts about positive body image and anti-dieting. There is great blog on there called The Anti-Diet Project by Kelsey Miller. She did a recent post about intuitive eating. This has been around for awhile. It is learning to make food neutral and get in touch with your natural appetite and get off the diet merry-go-round. Another post by Kate Harding as part of Refinery 29 Take Back the Beach exposes many of the myths about the virtues of dieting.
I find the posts about positive body image and anti-dieting encouraging. Maybe there is hope that people’s attitudes will change and we can learn self-acceptance.
In the meantime, it is good to keep a sense of humor. There is one health practice that I really believe in, laughter. When we laugh we lower our stress hormones, improve our circulation, increase our endorphins, exercise our lungs and even exercise our core muscles. I believe the part about the core muscles because my daughter pointed out to me, and I confirmed it by looking in the mirror, that my belly moves up and down when I laugh. Besides laughter makes us feel great don’t you think?
Barnes & Noble announces all pre-orders of the hardcover edition* of Go Set a Watchman placed on BN.com on or before 12pm Eastern time July 13 will be delivered on July 14**, the on-sale date.
Harper Lee’s new book is being released this week. I am due to get my copy in the mail around mid-week according to the nice customer service rep I spoke with at Barnes and Noble. I had pre-ordered the book and then I lost my email record of it.
I am very excited to read this book. If you have been following the story, Harper Lee wrote Go Set A Watchman before she wrote To Kill A Mockingbird but her publisher wanted her to write a book about a younger Scout. So no one ever heard of Go Set A Watchman until recently. Harper Lee won the Pulitzer Prize for To Kill A Mockingbird and then never wrote another book that we knew of.
I am very excited to read this “new” book. And I really don’t want to hear a lot about what the book is about before I read it. I hate spoilers. When I do a review I don’t like to give away the whole story either and spoil it for other people. When I saw a recent headline in the Huffington Post about Atticus Finch, and what his character is like in the new book, I saw red. Every time I see that post I scroll quickly past it. Now that element of surprise has been taken from me. But I am blocking it out until I read the book for myself.
I am the same way about films. I don’t like to read a review that tells the about the entire film before I get a chance to see it. A big part of the pleasure for me is the mystery. Do you like to read reviews that give away the whole story?
