Author Archives: Deborah Drucker

About Deborah Drucker

Native of California who lives in the Los Angeles area. I have a background in healthcare and in recent years I have acquired a teaching credential in Special Education Writing a blog and fiction is a new adventure for me.

Toss Up

It will be a toss up between sheltering at home in the house or out in the backyard for this July 4th, the American day of Independence. I’m ok with a subdued holiday being not one for big gatherings even when we are not in the middle of an epidemic. Not a happy holiday for us in America this year. It’s been a little over 3 months since we started ‘shelter in place’ in California. I am now used to having my groceries delivered or doing curb side pick up. The libraries are still closed to patrons but we can do curbside pick up there as well. I just signed up for an online exercise class. I have been very sedentary. What would we do without our computers and the internet. I continue to discover more about my ancestors with genealogy research. Recently looked back at some who lived in New York in the early 1800s. It bothers me when I can’t find out what happened to them though. A daughter of my 5th Great Uncle was named Eramina. She was born about 1808. The only way I know she existed is from an Abstract of Wills of Delaware County (1834).  On a title page it lists the names of the uncle’s children. So I know when she was born but so far I can not find out any other information about her. I can try to imagine what her life was like. She would have been a tot during the War of 1812. She would not have heard the battle near Baltimore at Fort McHenry.

Artist’s depiction of Bombardment of Fort McHenry via

She lived in Middletown, Delaware County, New York.

Delaware County by Doug Kerr on

I wonder if she ever heard ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ sung.

We won’t watch fireworks displays this year but I don’t mind that. I can put up with the restrictions on my life right now especially when I know it is preventing the spread of infection. The choice to maintain these restrictions to help stamp out the infection or being reckless is not a toss up.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday, #SOCS,  is hosted by Linda G Hill. The prompt word for today is ‘toss.’



Speak To Me Flirty

“I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.” -A.J. Baker

The lady thinks: Cute line. Isn’t it romantic and witty. Love an intelligent  guy with a sense of humor. I hope he’s on the level. Should I take a chance? 

He says: “Would you like to get a drink? I know a quiet café not far from here.”

She says: ” It’s raining outside.”

He says: ” I brought an umbrella.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday, #SOCS, is hosted by Linda G Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “coffee, tea, or me.” Find a flirty phrase of your own or use “coffee, tea, or me” in your post. 

Featured image of ‘romantic love abstract’ by Claudia Dea on

Flirty Quote found on

ZZ Trivia

Many ‘zz’ words are in the category of onomatopoeia, words that come from a sound associated with the thing they represent. Words like buzz, fizzy, sizzle and then my examples fizzle out. There used to be flavored soda drink tablets called Fizzies® that you dissolved in a glass of water and voila you got a glass of soda. They made a fizzy sound while melting. An abandoned health resort in California near the Majave National Preserve was called Zzyzx. Curtis H. Springer picked the name because he wanted it to be the last word in the English dictionary. That designation has been taken by zyzzyva in many dictionaries. You may wonder what is a zyzzyva? It is a South American weevil and a literary magazine based in San Francisco. It would be nice to be published in the latter.

Zzyzx Rd exit sign by Vezoy via

Stream of Consciousness Saturday, #SOCS, is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is ‘zz’, a word that has ‘zz’ in it.

Featured image of a ‘Zyzzyva’ via Matthew Fang on


Number One Fan Of The Little Guy

Gavin and Meme hang out

I am a big fan of this little guy. Probably have to stand in line for Number One fan status with his other grandparents, my husband, and my daughter. We have been distancing since the beginning of ‘stay at home’ so just starting to have a visit with him up a little closer again. My daughter, Kate, caught this cute candid photo. Lifts my spirits to see him.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday, #SOCS, is hosted by Linda G Hill. The prompt for today is  “fan.” Use it by itself or find a word that starts or ends with it. 

Choose To Witness

“Grief must be witnessed,” said Kessler, the grief expert. “We want to know our loved ones’ life and death mattered. We want our family and friends to witness it, our community and we need our country to witness it. And it’s not happening on any level.” -David Kessler (LA Times)

Do you choose to turn away from the suffering and the over 90,000 deaths from coronavirus in this country? The flags are lowered in the US capitol this weekend to honor all those deaths. One of the dead is my younger brother John Barry. I try to tell myself those flags are lowered for him too. I am not able to view his body or have a funeral service because of the pandemic. I was able to see him on skype right before and up to his death. If this is the new normal, I want none of it. I want to have some kind of memorial for my brother in the future when his family can gather safely. I want there to be some kind of permanent memorial for him. I want the world to know he mattered.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday, #SOCS, is hosted by Linda G Hill

Quote from article in LA Times, Little sense of shared grief as virus deaths near 100,000 by Noah Bierman and Eli Stokols

My Younger Brother

“There are some griefs so loud/They could bring down the sky/And there are griefs so still/None knows how deep they lie.” ~ May Sarton

My brother John died suddenly May 19, 2020 just when we thought he had overcome the coronavirus. I was with him on Skype when he died. I am comforted that he was not not alone and was not in pain.


Let’s Get Back To The Old Normal

I want to go back to the old normal. I know that probably is not possible. Will we be on ‘stay at home’ status for 3 more months? Hopefully, it will be phased out slowly over these next few months. In LA County we are supposed to wear masks when outside if any chance of contact with another human. I have been wearing a mask when I open the door for my grocery delivery. I don’t have to open the door unless I have ordered wine, then I need to show my ID. Most times the delivery person tells me not to worry about it. The delivery people have masks on as well. We can get deliveries from Costco which means TP and just recently, paper towels. Yay!

My brother is recovering from coronavirus. He was lucky to have a milder case.  But it is still not back to normal at the Nursing Home and I worry he is not getting enough support. They are moving residents around like musical chairs because their numbers of positive test results are still rising. They are working to separate those residents with positive test results from those who are negative. More staff have tested positive as well. My brother is now out of isolation but not back in his old room and the Wi-fi is not good where he is. The social workers have been trying to help us. One of them visited my brother today. They had only one Skype visit while he was in isolation because of the poor internet connections in the facility. They really have to work on that. There is one iPad and one portable phone for the residents in his section. They have a waiting list for the iPad and I have been told the connection for it is not so great either.

In the old normal I would be able to visit him in person. I would have easier access to talk with him on the phone.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday, #SOCS, is hosted by Linda G Hill. The prompt word is “want.” Make the word “want” the first, second, or third word of your post. 

Featured image ‘Water Lily in Bloom’ via National Park Service Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens

One Liner Wednesday, May 13, 2020–Endurance

“In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”-Albert Camus

‘Los Angeles County’s stay-at-home orders will “with all certainty” be extended for the next three months, county Public Health Director Barbara Ferrer…’  This to be gradually relaxed under a five-step plan. (May 12, 2020  L A Times)

I question my ability to endure this but tell myself ‘one day at a time.’

One Liner Wednesday, #1linerWeds, is hosted by Linda G Hill.

Featured image, ‘Summer Field New England’ by Larry White on

Quote from

We Are Starting To Re-Open

Governor Newsom announced that we will start to re-open some businesses in California which began this past Friday. This is the start of a 4 phase plan. We may not get fully open until August or September. We are starting because we have had a steady decline in weekly deaths. Doesn’t that sound terrible to say, weekly death rate.  I don’t feel like running out to public places just yet. I don’t mind walking around the neighborhood. It will take time to feel comfortable again. Those who are older are advised to stay at home for now, ( I think I am in that category). When we do go out we will have to continue distancing and wear masks. I think we will not feel anywhere close to normal until next year. I hope we will get back to normal by then. Don’t know when my brother’s Nursing Home will re-open to visitors. It will take a while for those affected to recover and be clear of infection and they don’t want anyone to reintroduce anything to the facility. I just want my brother to continue to get better and hope to be able to visit and take him outside in the future.

There are still  parts of the US that are in the throws of the epidemic and the numbers of people lost are predicted to climb in the country as a whole. There are still many people who are sick and families worried about them.

I have spoken with my brother via Skype pretty much every day. Some days the connection is pretty good. Today his audio was bad again but he could hear me. He is feeling better but still weak and gets tired easily. His appetite is low but he is doing better eating. There has been an increase in positive cases at his Nursing Home. He says his CNAs ( Certified Nursing Assistants), recently, are people he has known for many years. I think it makes him feel good that they are taking care of him. He says everyone has been nice.

I will see my son, my daughter-in-law, and little grandson for Mother’s Day out on our front patio. Even though it probably sounds sad, we love seeing them even at a distance.

What Day Is It Anyway? , #WDIIA, is hosted by Linda G Hill. I still have trouble keeping track of what day it is.

Featured image of painting, ‘ By The Open Door’ by Nicolai Astrup via