Category Archives: My Life

We Need To Be Dreamers

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We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams.
World-losers and world-forsakers,
Upon whom the pale moon gleams;
Yet we are the movers and shakers,
Of the world forever, it seems.”

–Arthur O’Shaughnessy

We have to have dreams and believe in possibilities if there is ever to be human progress. It is so easy to get discouraged and bogged down with all the problems in the world. Thinking that things will never change or will always be bad.

There is always the possibility of new discoveries and that the world can improve.

“TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

–Howard Zinn

I want to read over and over all the hopeful and encouraging words of all the dreamers and visionaries. It buoys me up and helps me to believe in life and the future of the world.

Let’s act in small positive ways and not give in to the darkness.

320px-Candle_Light by Dittymathew via wikipedia

|Katgotyourtongue|

katgotyourtongue

One Elephant Seal and the Central California Coast

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I went on a spur of the moment trip and met my daughter in Cambria this past Sunday. It was a little over 3 hours drive about 200 miles north of where I live. The drive up was gorgeous. The most beautiful scenery starts above Ventura where the highway runs along the ocean. The day was sunny with moderate temperatures and the ocean appeared calm and blue. You get a beautiful view of the ocean up to Santa Barbara. Then again above Santa Barbara where you start getting more open countryside. Everything is still green. Up into Solvang there are rolling hills and oak trees. Above there around Los Alamos you start seeing vineyards. The vines are dormant now for the winter. Then you swing by some ocean communities again like Pismo Beach. Onward to San Luis Obispo and you connect with Highway 1 and head toward Morro Bay. Highway 1 then runs along the ocean up to Cambria.

I met my daughter at a restaurant called the Indigo Moon for lunch. She had driven down about 3 ½ hours from Northern California. There is a lovely beach in Cambria called Moonstone Beach. There is a wooden walkway on the bluffs and we took a walk there before sunset and had dinner at a restaurant above the beach. There are many inns along Moonstone Beach and we could see some people sitting out on the balconies.

Moonstone Beach by Snowfalcon on wikipedia

Moonstone Beach by Snowfalcon on wikipedia

The next day ,after a delicious breakfast at a local diner called the Cambria Cafe ,we drove a bit further north to San Simeon. The Hearst Castle is located atop the hills here. We did not go to Hearst Castle but I have toured it in the past. The Hearst family owned many acres of land around the castle. My daughter and I said how glad we are that they gave the bulk of the land to a nature conservancy so it will not be developed. What a gift to have all this open land preserved. We went to the beach at San Simeon for more gorgeous views and saw an elephant seal sun bathing on the beach, (photo above).  There were signs posted about the elephant seals stating they are a protected species. The signs warned not to approach them too close. It recommended staying back about 50-100 feet from them.

When we first saw the elephant seal I was worried it was sick, injured or worse because it was laying so still. Then it opened its eyes, looked around and, as we walked over to look,  started to roll over and yawn.

It had a snout, that looked like a short elephant trunk, called a proboscis. I spied a couple of pointy teeth in its lower jaw. I thought it was a young male because of its size. It had some open wounds around its neck. I told my daughter that maybe it had gotten in a fight with an older male and been driven off. A park ranger later confirmed it was a male probably about 5 years old.

My daughter and I did a little hiking along the beach and on the bluffs above. It was so beautiful with clear blue skies and sunshine that reflected off the water. We saw a few monarch butterflies among the eucalyptus trees above the beach. The eucalyptus were so fragrant as we walked along and stepped on their fallen leaves and acorns. The Eucalyptus tree is not native to California. It was brought to California in the 1850s during the California Gold Rush from Australia.

We said goodbye in the early afternoon to make our drives in opposite directions. This trip made me realize I need to do this more often. Get out and see the beauty that is so close and is the California coast.

Elephant Seals at Piedras Blancas, California via wikipedia

Elephant Seals at Piedras Blancas, California via wikipedia

  |Jusjojan|

JJJ 2015

 

 

Free Time

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“I really think I write about everyday life. I don’t think I’m quite as odd as others say I am. Life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that’s what makes it so boring.”

–Edward Gorey

I really like Edward Gorey’s illustrations. I am most familiar with the ones he did for PBS Mystery. I want to read his books. Reading about him makes me smile. He used funny pen names that were a play on his name like Ogdred Weary and Dogear Wryde. If someone so wonderfully creative could say that he was bored sometimes I think I am in great company.

Theda-bara-cleopatra_detail via wikepedia

It has been hard being semi-retired. But I realize, at the least in recent years when I worked full-time, I spent my life doing a lot of work that just kept me distracted and busy. It used up a good part of my life. Now that I have been rudely excluded from that work I am at a loss. With a bit too much free time. What to do with it. The problem is that my prior jobs and parenthood structured my existence for me and I now I have to structure my own.

People can say go get busy. Do volunteer work. Devote yourself to service. A lot of my life has been taken up taking care of other people already. I am doing some volunteer work and tutoring part-time but that is not enough. I think I must find work or an activity that is truly engaging for me not just busy making or a distraction.

“A lot of impulsive mistakes are made by people who simply aren’t willing to stay bored a little longer.”
 ― Paul Aurandt

Not a good idea just to jump into the first thing that comes along.

I mentioned PBS Mystery. We do not have cable and I do not watch a lot of television. But I do enjoy PBS Mystery. I have written before that I have really enjoyed Endeavor and the Wallander series. Masterpiece is another PBS production I really like. I am still watching Downton Abbey although I think the earlier seasons were the best. I like Call the Midwife as well. It is great learning about Nurses in England who were midwives and made home visits.

I am glad that I do not have regular television service here because I can see how I might end up sitting in front of it watching a bunch of garbage to fill the time. So from what I have seen of Reality TV, I don’t think it is for me. Especially The Housewives of You Fill in the Blank.

 

|Katgotyourtongue|

katgotyourtongue

 

Cape Sebastian Oregon by Linda Tanner

Stream of Consciousness Saturday-To Heal

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“Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing.”
 ― Linda Hogan

There are many synonyms for the word heal. Recover, be out of the woods, get back on your feet, bounce back, feel oneself again, pull through, and restore, are some. I have felt wonder and gratitude for my body’s ability to heal. There is nothing better, after having a bought of illness, than to feel myself gaining strength and feeling good again.

I have had some major challenges to my health and had to undergo major surgery two times and literally gone off a cliff in a car. So I have some good examples of our body’s ability to heal. I feel vulnerable writing about this because I do not want to be seen as damaged.  I know people turn away from those of us who have had cancer.

I underwent major surgery for lung cancer two times in a 4 year period. In between those times my husband and I were in a major car accident which could have easily killed us both. I was terribly wrenched and bruised with 3 broken ribs from that accident. Each time I underwent surgery I was very frightened. Even though or maybe because I was a Nurse my fears were magnified. One brother-in-law, who is a MD, told me after the first surgery that this type of surgery is one of the most brutal and worse than cardiac bypass because of what they do to the body during the surgery. I am glad he did not tell me this before I went into surgery. I remember asking one of my RN friends about how they operate on the lung when you are breathing. I was not familiar with how the surgery was done and she worked in ICU and knew about these surgeries. She told me they put a tube in your windpipe and collapse the lung before they start. The recovery from this type of surgery is rough. But even a few days after I felt my strength and would get up by myself in the hospital at night to go to the bathroom.

About 4 years later, after the second surgery, there were several wild fires in the LA area. The location of one of the fires was not too far from the hospital I was in. During the second night, after surgery, I could smell the smoke coming into my room through an air vent. I thought this is so great for someone who has just undergone lung cancer surgery. I asked if something could be done. They could not move me or get ahold of anyone in engineering. Hospital beds are on wheels. So I got up and moved my own bed away from the vent.

The recovery from the second surgery was harder as I had been told it would be. I think part of that was my stomach does not tolerate pain medication. I really needed the medication but it wrecked my stomach and I ended up with trouble sleeping not only because of pain but because of terrible heart burn.

But I did recover from both of these surgeries. My body healed.

I do not have to go through major surgery to appreciate my body’s ability to heal. I do appreciate it even when it heals from minor illnesses and injuries. It is a kind of miraculous thing this great strength and ability to heal with which we are born.

My husband has pointed out to me that the visible scars of my lung surgeries have faded quite a bit. Another demonstration of the body’s healing powers.

 

|LindaGHill|

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Kat Got Your Tongue Challenge-Sleep

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“Also, I could finally sleep. And this was the real gift, because when you cannot sleep, you cannot get yourself out of the ditch–there’s not a chance.”   –Elizabeth Gilbert

The Greek god of sleep is Hypnos. It was said that near his cave were poppies and other hypnotic plants. His mother was Nyx the goddess of the night. Do you remember in the Wizard of Oz when the wicked witch put Dorothy and her friends to sleep with a field of poppies? Opium is a narcotic made from the Opium poppy.

Poppy Field of poppies by Sergei Mikhailovich Prokudin-Gorskii 1912 via wikipedia

I am a “light” sleeper and I am easily disturbed by my husband if he has a restless night or is stressed over something and not sleeping well. When my children were little I slept with my senses on alert to any disturbance coming from their rooms. I wake up if there is an earthquake. My husband, once he was asleep, could sleep through the kids crying and earthquakes.

Menopause made me more sensitive to stress and insomnia. For many years I think I had a sleep disorder and seldom got a good night’s sleep.  There were periods where I would go through cycles of insomnia with a few nights of normal in between.

Thankfully, I have been improving in this area lately. I attribute it to the fact that my hormones are stable and I am no longer under a lot of stress with my work or life. My children are grown and out of the house. I am sleeping better.

I have not gotten to the stage of taking my improved sleeping pattern for granted. I can still feel gratitude for sleeping well.

It can be a vicious cycle if I have poor quality sleep. It leads to decreased ability to cope with stress. Then the increase stress leads to another night of poor sleep. I have read that not getting adequate sleep can cause us to have trouble maintaining a healthy weight. It can lead to obesity. I have had trouble with losing weight as well.

So I will have to see if this theory holds true. If I continue to sleep well and lose weight that would be great.

Now when I occasionally have difficulty staying asleep I do not fight it but get up or turn on a light and read for a while. Eventually I become drowsy again and can get back to sleep.

Do you have a remedy for insomnia? What do you do if you have trouble sleeping?

 

|KatGotYourTongue|

katgotyourtongue

Making Connections with Social Media

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Are we more connected with social media? Facebook is great at reminding me of people’s birthdays and I get to be a voyeur into their lives when they share photos of their latest activities, partners, children, grandchildren or pets. Really I do appreciate being reminded of someone’s birthday because I am very bad at remembering other than my immediate family.  At least I can see that people are still alive when I see their photos. I can wish them Happy Birthday on the right day. I like congratulating them on their achievements if they choose to share. I can click on “like” or make a  comment. But do I feel closer to them? Not really. It is a pseudo closeness.

I resisted Email at first because I felt that it was not a good substitute for letters or phone calls. Then I succumbed to using it because it was a practical way to keep in touch with a distant family member and my daughter when she was in college.

Now the latest form of communication I have adopted is texting. I can see the practicality of texting when I am running around doing a lot and need to quickly remind someone to pick something up at the market or that I am running late. But as an exclusive form of communication, or to check in and say hello, texting is not the best. It is better than nothing and I can use it to make dates to really get together in person or have a phone talk. If it is just having a conversation in abbreviations, I find I can not really get much of a sense of the person I am texting with. With blogging, texting, tweeting or posting on Facebook we do not get the total picture of the person even if we get a photo. What I mean by this is we do not get the body language and facial expression or tone of voice that communicates so much about what is really going on with someone else. We get a few sentences and maybe some emoticons.

We really need to slow down and talk with each other don’t we in order to maintain any real relationship? Do you feel Facebook and texting or tweeting helps to maintain your relationships? Or are you wanting something more? Do you find it distracting and superficial? Like making electronic small talk?

The need to be texting or reading our Facebook page or checking out what is posted on WordPress is a way to entertain ourselves and keep from being bored or lonely but at what cost? It has an addictive quality like playing a video game. It is momentarily distracting and entertaining. It does not make  a demand on us to think about much but the most superficial things. Besides affecting the quality of our relationships I would say it eats up a lot of time we could be using for something more meaningful.

If we let ourselves be controlled by social media it will impact the quality of our lives and what kind of society we live in. If we let ourselves be constantly seduced and distracted by social media it could keep us from fully living our lives. Do you try to balance the time you spend on social media with other activities? Do you make a special effort to un-plug? Do you think it is a good idea to make certain times off-limits to social media or texting like during dinner with your family/kids?

Here is an interesting TED talk on this issue:

Sherry Turkle TED talk Alone Together

New Year

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“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.”–T.S. Eliot

 

I intended during my holiday hiatus to do some writing for my blog and maybe tinker with my blog page design. I wanted to think about possible topics for future posts.

Well I did not get anything accomplished because a flu bug derailed my plans. I do think it was not the worst bought of flu I have had. I do get the flu shot every year in hopes of preventing an  infection. But it was definitely enough to knock me out for about a week now. So no thinking about writing and no writing. I did finish reading 2 books the past couple of days which shows I am getting back in the swing.

I read Michael Connelly’s latest book “The Burning Room” about one of my favorite detectives Harry Bosch and I read John Grisham’s book “Gray Mountain,” and liked the themes of little guy against big corrupt corporations and environmental issues. I have had several books waiting to be read and it is good to start getting into them. I read Louise Penny’s latest ” The Long Way Home” before Christmas. Still love Inspector Gamache and Ruth the curmudgeon-y Quebecer Poet with her pet duck Rosa.

The Christmas holiday time was great although my energy level was affected by this flu bug that was starting to do its work. I got to spend time with both of my kids. We did travel up north and had fun visiting my daughter. It was colder but there was sunshine.

Just waiting for my energy level to get up to normal. Still feel like taking a nap. Looks like it will be a quiet New Years as I recuperate. We’re thinking about Chinese food and DVDs.

Happy New Year!

A Few Favorite Things for the Holidays

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untitled Unknown Children, probably Carolers by Louisa Anne Marchioness via wikimedia

The best thing about the holidays for me is getting together with my kids. I do not get into a lot of shopping, decorating, sending out holiday cards, knitting, baking or making eggnogs. My husband sometimes will make the eggnog. I try not to drink more than one serving because it is a bit fattening but very tasty. I did have a pint of eggnog ice cream in the freezer and now somehow it is gone.

I appreciate all the yummy things Trader Joes  has on sale this time of year like Honey Walnut Fig Cream Cheese. Another great invention of theirs is Slicing Brie which is a little log of brie that you can slice for crackers. Great for entertaining or snacking. Guaranteed to add several more inches and pounds.

I do contact friends and family at least by email or Facebook to wish them happy which ever holiday they are celebrating. I give money to the Santa ringing the bell in front of the Salvation Army kettle. I like to buy a toy for Toys for Tots.

There is something else I like about the holidays. It is listening to the Christmas music on the radio. At least at the beginning of the season. They start playing it right after Thanksgiving. By the time Christmas rolls around I have had enough.

Many of the songs or carols take me back to when I was in Catholic school. They still raise my spirits when I first hear them. Like Come All Ye Faithful, The First Noel, Little Town of Bethlehem, Joy to the World, Silent Night and Angels We Have Heard on High. We used to sing some of them in Latin. Angels We Have Heard on High has the phrase ” Gloria, in excelsis Deo” ( Glory to God in the Highest)  and O Come all Ye Faithful in Latin is Adeste Fideles and here in part:

Adeste Fideles laeti triumphantes,
Venite, venite in Bethlehem.
Natum videte, Regem Angelorum;

Refrain:

Venite adoremus,
venite adoremus,
venite adoremus
Dominum!

I have a memory of singing that carol in a choir with my classmates. I don’t think we sounded like this via You Tube by Julio Fernanadez:

Others I like are Hark the Herald Angels Sing, We Three Kings of Orient Are, and Deck the Halls. There are others that I have learned later in life The Holly and the Ivy and O Come Emmanuel. I think O Come Emmanuel is beautiful. I first heard The Holly and the Ivy in an old  British film of the same title.

Of course we all sang Jingle Bells, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.

Do you have any favorite holiday songs?

My Writing Space

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Guilty Pleasure

My Writing Space

At present I do not have a separate room where I do my writing. I sit at our kitchen table and write on my laptop. I do have a couple of open rooms in the house that I could convert to a physical space for myself to write. These were my kids bedrooms. One still contains some of my daughters furniture and other belongings.  At some point in the near future I envision setting up one of these bedrooms for myself.

For so many years when my kids were growing up I did not have a space for myself in the house. I often thought how nice it would be to have a room to use as an office or just for my own space. Maybe it is because I have gotten so used to not having a room of my own that I haven’t set one of our bedrooms up for myself yet.

The environment can be less than ideal in a shared space like the kitchen. My husband often works at home. He can be going in and out of the room and talking to me. There have been many times when I get pretty irritable about being interrupted when I am on my blog. Especially when I am writing and organizing my thoughts. If the radio is on with music or news this can be another irritation. On my own I work in the quiet.

Space for writing is not just physical. It is psychological as well. It is taking the time out of the day to sit down, ponder and allow the creative process to begin. I need to carve out the time every day for myself to be creative in this way. To make a writing space in my day and in my life.

katgotyourtongueThis post is for the writing event on Kat’s blog Dandelion Fuzz. The event is open to all interested bloggers. Click on the link for more info.