‘All or nothing’, that is a good motto for a perfectionist. If something does not meet the ideal standard it is worth nothing. It is definitely not synonymous with flexible, easy-going, having self-compassion. Like trying to force a square peg into a round hole and I have the bruises to show for it. It is good to be able to recognize that something is not working for you and allow yourself to move on. Not keep trying to get yourself to fit into something that doesn’t suit. It is not being a quitter or failure to acknowledge something isn’t working out for you or you are not working out for it. It would have been better to realize it is not ‘all or nothing’, success or failure, but that there could be something else waiting out there for you.
“Set aside the old traditional notion of female as nurturer and male as leader; set aside, too, the new traditional notion of female as superwoman and male as oppressor. Begin with that most frightening of all things, a clean slate. And then look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: Because they are what I want, or wish for. Because they reflect who and what I am.
This is the hard work of life in the world, to acknowledge within yourself the introvert, the clown, the artist, the homebody, the goofball, the thinker. Look inside. That way lies dancing to the melodies spun out by your own heart.”
― Anna Quindlen
Stream of Consciousness Saturday is hosted by Linda G Hill. The prompt for today ‘all or nothing.’ Featured image by Kate Ter Haar on Flickr.