Category Archives: My Life

A Post A Day Will Not Cause An Emotional Breakdown I Hope

imagesBD0YDO8Z  What's the matter with Helen

All right. I have committed to write a post a day for, and I am terrible at acronyms and why do we need them anyway, NaBloPoMo and Nano Poblano. OK I know poblano is a type of chile pepper and not an acronym.

This is the first day of November and we have had our first rain of the season all last night here in Southern California. It really gave me such a great feeling. In case you are unaware, we are going through a drought here.

I usually love listening to the rain at night but last night was particularly wonderful. I had just finished writing a post. My husband had the radio on in the bedroom. I think that blocked the sound of the rain at first. Then I heard a loud drip, drip, drip like there was a leak somewhere. Our plumbing has been noisy lately so I couldn’t be sure.

Then I thought maybe it is rain. It had been predicted for last night. I turned on the light over the backyard patio. I was so happy to see the dripping noise was the rain running off the edge of our tile roof.

It is like any everyday thing that you haven’t experienced for a long, long time and when it happens again it is so special. As if it has never happened before and this is the first time.

images8303QD5R  Raindrops

|Nanopoblano|  among other things.

SoCS-Memento Means Remember

The origin of the word memento was, according to Thesaurus.com, from “c.1400…in the Canon of the Mass which began with the Latin word memento and in which the dead are commemorated.” The Latin word memento means remember.  The English definition is: an object that reminds us of a person or event.  Two synonyms for the word memento are a souvenir and curio.

We have a curio cabinet that belonged to my husband’s maternal grandmother, Nana. We acquired it when she died several years ago. Some of the items we kept in it were hers or gifts from her as well. The cabinet and some of its contents are our mementos of her.

When we were putting in new floors in the living room the furniture was being moved around and the curio cabinet tipped over and the mirror inside shattered. I was upset because this cabinet meant something to me.

It has been lying on its back on an old table ever since while we try to decide what to do with it. My daughter said it looked like it was waiting for surgery. A brother-in-law said it looked like a coffin. This evening I did have some candles on top of it for Halloween which goes along with the coffin image.

The broken curio cabinet reminds me how fragile things are and that they do not last forever. Although I may not always have this memento of Nana we will still have our memories of her and her love.

Forget-me-nots

Forget-me-not

 

|SoCS November 1 LindaGHill|

It’s Halloween

The_Witch_on_Her_Broom_Stick_by_Ida_Rentoul_Outhwaite,_1921

This is a poem written by Jack Prelutsky that was in a children’s book that was a favorite of my kids.

It’s Halloween

It’s Halloween! It’s Halloween!

The moon is full and bright

And we shall see what can’t be seen

On any other night.

Skeletons and ghosts and ghouls,

Grinning goblins fighting duels,

Werewolves rising from their tombs,

Witches on their magic brooms.

In masks and gowns

We haunt the street

And knock on doors

For trick or treat.

Tonight we are

The king and queen,

For oh tonight

It’s Halloween!

Happy Halloween to all my fellow blogging friends!

images  Black Cat

Masks Off Channeling My Innermost Self

7277313236_439d933437_o  Anny Ahlers

A Costume that would channel my true innermost self…. I am not sure I know everything about my true innermost self. I like to think I know parts but I think I am still learning. I will tell you about the positive aspects or ones that I aspire to. The different characters are: the Idealist, the Dreamer, the Comic, the Romantic, the Observer, the Imaginer and the Adventurer ( usually armchair variety or in my mind 🙂 )

A costume would be like one of Gertrude Bell.

BellK_218_Gertrude_Bell_in_Iraq_in_1909_age_41

I have always liked strong women characters as portrayed by the likes of Katherine Hepburn or Angelina Jolie. I aspire to be courageous.

640px-Amazon_preparing_for_the_battle_(Queen_Antiope_or_Armed_Venus)_-_Pierre-Eugene-Emile_Hebert_1860_-_NG_of_Arts_Wash_DC_rotated_and_cropped

|Masks Off|

Addendum: I love this post on Senior Planet about costumes. Very funny!

Reverse Shot: The Swing

What’s your earliest memory involving another person? Recreate the scene from the other person’s  perspective.

I am 15 years old and living with my mother and step-father and my little step-sister Debbie in Lake County. Debbie is 3 years old and looks like a Campbell’s Soup Kid according to her father. She is pretty chubby but cute. She really looks up to me but I have better things to do than hang around playing with her.

She wanted me to push her on the old tire swing that is at the front of the house. It’s a strange looking thing made of rubber with a bucket seat and long ropes going up to a high branch of an old tree. I was pushing her and she kept going higher and higher up over the roof of the house. She was looking down between her feet at the roof.

The next thing I know, my step-father is running out the front door of the house yelling, ” Mickey, stop pushing her!” Turns out he and my mother could see Debbie’s feet coming over the roof from the big picture window at the back of the house.

Separateness is an Illusion?

We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness.        –Thich Nhat Hanh

When I was about 8 years old I exclaimed to my mother that we are all truly alone because our souls are separate and that we can not know how each of us feels inside. I was becoming aware of existential loneliness.

3333457785_bae36e300d_z  balloon

It seems nowadays I experience the opposite. How can I possibly feel separate when I open my Inbox each morning to a tsunami of mail.

There are multiple notifications from WordPress and Facebook. Pleas and proclamations from interest groups asking me to sign petitions and donate or warnings about the latest pending environmental disaster, GMOs, and pesticides killing us and the bees. I am concerned about all these issues but I am starting to get “compassion overload.”

I get messages from the library about books being due or coming in and e-lists of book recommendations. I get articles, blurbs, blogs and messages about Art, Ageing, Boomers, adult education and Job Search results.

How can I possibly have illusions of being separate with my Inbox so full?

6022279419_7517b6bf4a_o  Email sucks

It takes a good part of my time to keep the incoming volume of email under control. I think I am going to have to unsubscribe to a lot of this stuff. I really don’t want to have it taking up so much of my time.

But does all this internet interconnectedness really make me feel less separate?

man-335401_640

I am aware of my connection with others when I read something that resonates or get a thoughtful or supportive comment on my posts. A ping back and re-blog is encouraging. 🙂

But I have to sort through an awful lot of stuff, separating the chaff, to get those precious grains of wisdom, inspiration, encouragement and real connection.

Hard Times

A young man was standing on the divider on my way out of the Target parking lot. He was holding a sign begging for money. He reminded me of my son, when he was in his twenties. It always gets to me to see kids like this.

I turned back and came around again to give him money. He walked up to me with difficulty. He had braces on his legs and when he reached out with his hand he had some kind of disability where his fingers did not quite bend. I thought later it could be cerebral palsy. I was haunted after that.

I called up a local social service agency and talked to a social worker and told him what I saw and asked what could be done. The social worker said often times the kids we see on the street are abusing drugs and it is hard to get them to come in but that his agency still tried to help. He told me there had been a local government meeting on how to deal with the problem of homeless youth.

The social worker told me he thought he knew the boy I was describing and that the young man and his mother had come into his agency at one time. He told me if I saw the boy again I could give him information about the agency and encourage him to come in and to say Hi from the social worker. I asked him if I could volunteer for his agency and he said they did not need volunteers at that time.

I drove back to Target during the week a few times to look for that young man. One day I spotted him walking back to a van from the divider. I was scared to approach because I did not know how he would react and I did not know who else was in the van. Maybe it was a whole group of people who went out begging together.

What makes us fear getting involved and be suspicious?

But I had information ready to give him about the social service agency. I parked my car and walked across the parking lot to his van as he was getting into it. As I approached him he looked a bit wary. I told him I had seen him the other day and wanted to help. He said, “Hard times.” He reached out to shake my hand and introduce himself. I stared at his fingers and tried to suppress my look of distress. I think he noticed.

An older woman was in the van, his mom? She looked a bit threatened. I then realized the guy was older than I first thought. They were probably not the same people the social worker had met. I went on talking, nervously,  about the agency and the social worker who said he thought he knew them and that they should come in. The woman looked confused when I said this and then I realized that they did not know the social worker.

I went on about how the agency could help with housing. I handed him the index card with information about the agency and their hours.

The man and his mom thanked me. I never saw him begging there after that. I hope they found help or maybe I scared them off.

I was inspired to write this post by two other great blogs about homelessness and the fear of getting involved.

Luciledegodoy

Writeoutofthedarkness

3093763311_2a83db98ba_z  Homeless Boy and his dog

Disconnections

I know this is true but I had forgotten. When you are wrestling with an issue information will start popping up about it all around you.

Today I opened my email from Idealist Careers and here was a post about something I had been thinking and writing about myself. The post was called Embrace JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out by Allison Jones. In it she linked to another blogger Anil Dash who had written on this topic as well. JOMO is a response to FOMO or Fear of Missing Out.

I get a little crazy with all the acronyms. Believe me, it is not that I have never seen an acronym before because in my work life in Nursing and Teaching there are plenty of them. It just seems like, with all the frenzied communication, we are all talking in acronyms. When I first saw FLOTUS it reminded me of flatus and I thought of gas. POTUS, a potted plant. Well maybe these acronyms are a lot of hot air after all. But I digress.

The gist of the blogs about JOMO and mine is that we can be selective about all the social activities and interactions that are asking for our participation these days. We need to be in touch with ourselves and what our needs and priorities are. There is great JOY in taking time for our private lives and quiet pastimes alone or with our friends and families.

This post relates to our assignment to make connections with other bloggers. As I was making more connections, I connected with kspoints  Adventure Pengembara and she commented on my post Blogger Burnout saying that she had to schedule an hour once a week for connecting with bloggers so she has time for the rest of her life.

Other bloggers commented on my post with similar sentiments. The need to find a balance and find  the JOMO.

14598406762_4376511853_z  Peaceful

Blogger Burnout

I developed blogger burnout and did not know it.

Angry Kid

Angry Kid

It has been difficult to balance writing my blog with the time it takes to make connections with other bloggers, looking at the blogs of those who have liked mine, reading their blogs and commenting and having time for the rest of my life.

I get drawn to checking for messages on my archive and who responded or liked me lately as well.

It’s not that I want to stop getting feedback. I would love more comments besides the likes so that I can have a discussion going and get other writer’s perspectives.

I have discussed this balance thing with other bloggers like  Natso and  aOpinionated Man .

We came to a consensus that one needs to find their balance.

Balance by Brent Moore

Balance by Brent Moore

Whoever thought of this “like” idea in social media must have studied psychology. It is human nature to want to check out who likes you, don’t you think?

I appreciate another blogger who recently gave me a ping back on his blog Too Full to Write.

Spending so much time related to my blogging is taking up not only time but energy.
Us introverted types get easily worn out when there is a high demand to process a lot of input and have a lot of social interaction.

I'm so tired by Gwen Quinlan

I’m so tired by Gwen Quinlan

We need down time to recharge and regroup. We need our space.

And I do have other things I need to do in my life or should be doing.
I am not good with the shoulds either. I have never been very good with the shoulds. Like I should be exercising, shopping for healthy meals, or cleaning the house.
I think I need to work out a schedule for myself and  how much time I will spend reading other blogs, checking the archive and responding each day.
I wonder how other have managed to keep a balance with their blogging, connecting with other writers and the rest of their lives.

I would love to hear how you have dealt with this issue and if it is an issue for you or not.

Elmine in Enschede work/life balance

Elmine in Enschede work/life balance

After starting this blog I saw a post by Michelle from WordPress Blogging 101 about the importance of avoiding blogging burnout by taking breaks from your blog.

Rest Area? by Peter Dutton

Rest Area? by Peter Dutton

That’s how I found the title for this blog and a description of what I had been feeling.