Author Archives: Deborah Drucker

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About Deborah Drucker

I am a native of California who lives in Southern California. I have a background in healthcare and Special Education. Writing is a new adventure for me.

Following My Own Path

There is so much advice readily available from experts about how to live out the later years of our lives. I have seen different estimates of how long of a time we have left after say the traditional retirement age of 65. Wikipedia posted longevity charts from WHO and the UN that vary slightly. I noted that in poorer countries the life expectancy is much lower, closer to our traditional retirement age. So this third stage of life is a privilege of richer countries. And we are not all guaranteed those extra years.

One post I read said we should fill up our remaining years with giving back in volunteer work, others advice second acts, and new careers. I think this has to be a very individual decision. After all, it is the last years of YOUR life, not the experts lives. And you should be able to decide what to do with it and not feel guilty about it either. I liked this post by Dr. Bill Thomas, ( I know another expert), who says we are obsessed with this prolonged adulthood in our society that starts with trying to make adults out of our children when they’re still kids and ends with wanting to prolong middle age to forever because we think old age is terrible. Here is part of what he said:

 “we find that older people are increasingly judged, and not according to the merits of age. Instead, the worth of an older person is determined by his or her ability to emulate a highly effective adult. People who still drive, still work, still run marathons and who still look, act and feel like young people are deemed to be successful. Those who can’t still do those things are… failures.”

I am in the process of looking at ageing and determining what I hope my remaining years to be. I have to look at my own abilities, passions, and limitations. I need to set my own course with what feels right to me. I have to know within myself that I have value even if I don’t run marathons,  or look like my younger self.

Don’t Egg Me On

“Don’t egg me on,” which means don’t get me started, don’t encourage me to do or say something. I can really get on my soapbox on several issues. Many times it is something I read in the online political and news sites that can set me off. One of my annual beefs is Daylight Savings Time. When my husband announced it was DST starting again this past weekend, I said, “Oh no, it’s not starting already? It seems like Standard Time is over so soon!” Actually, Standard Time is shorter since 2005 in the US when DST was extended by 5 weeks. It used to be from May to October and then our government, in their great wisdom, extended it from March to November. Now my excellent state of California is trying to abolish DST in California. Please make it happen! It turns out DST leads to more heart attacks, strokes and car accidents and doesn’t really save more energy. And our bodies do not really adjust to it. It just adds more stress.

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And another thing:

I do a lot of reading about issues facing my generation. A big one is ageism and how it has impacted people’s lives. It is not just that you have to suffer society’s negative stereotypes and attitudes, it affects your ability to hold on to your job and to find employment. There are so many articles written advising people about jobs that may be open to them or suited to their situation, and stage in life. A popular recommendation is about “gigs,” or short term, part-time, temp work that does not offer benefits.

original The New Gig

I have seen this recommendation more than once when reading about jobs for older people, drive for Uber. I wonder how many older women would want to drive a taxi. Actually, you use your own car which could be another headache. It seems that there would be more wear and tear on the car and greater chance of accidents,( especially if it is during DST.) So there goes your insurance rates. It would be pretty stressful in an urban area unless you like the challenge of driving crowded freeways and city streets with all the crazy drivers. It would be nice if job suggestions were in touch with reality.

 

This post is my contribution to Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G Hill. The prompt for today is “egg.”

Taxi image by Pixabay.com used to make this cartoon  Angel and Egg image by Pixabay too.

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A Quiet Kind of Life

 

“You really don’t have to do anything.”

 

This is my contribution to One Liner Wednesday hosted by Linda G Hill. I saw this cool video shared by Quiet Revolution and wanted to share it. I am one who at times feels driven to DO SOMETHING, be more successful, (whatever that is), be a mover and a shaker, etc. etc. But it really is not my temperament. So for all of us who need to stop feeling a lack, or guilty about what we are not doing, I dedicate this video. We are OK just as we are, doing whatever feels right.  xo

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I Wasn’t Invited to the Ball

I don’t know what happened. I expected to get it in the mail. Where is my invitation to the ball? I get one every year. What has changed? I know I am no longer the ingénue or the belle. Those years are long gone. But I still love to dance and am very skilled in all the steps. I am good at making witty repartee. I would not be a dull partner. Where is my invitation? I noticed that my gentleman neighbor received his invitation and told me he is getting his evening attire out of storage. He doesn’t even know all the dances that I do but it seems he is a more desirable partner. I asked my older woman friend if she got her invitation yet. She told me in a whisper that I should be aware that women of a certain age are invisible to society and must exit the social scene quietly. For heaven sake, don’t make a fuss. Accept the fate assigned to you. Don’t rock the boat. Take up feeding the birds or gardening.

 

If your over 5o and even starting as early as 35 your prospects of finding a job diminish as you get older. Think this is a fairytale? Watch the PBS video below. Ageism is alive and well. Especially for women. I know it happened to me. From Harvard Business Review, Older Women are Being Forced Out of the Workforce.

 

This post is my contribution to Stream Of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G Hill. Featured image “Too Early” by James Tissot.

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A Bit of This and That and Nothing in Particular

This is a bit of this and that for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. I love words and like to dabble lightly in etymology. When I am writing I will sometimes look for new words and synonyms on Dictionary.com. I went there for this piece and got carried away with The Word of the Day Word List. I love these zany words and their meanings. Feel free to add them to your vocabulary. They may come in handy this election season. So hear goes:

bafflegab: slang, confusing or generally unintelligible jargon; gobbledegook.

This sounds like it could describe my writing sometimes. Bafflegab is a “portmanteau” word, a combining of two words, baffle and gab. I like gobbledegook too.

bissextus: no it is not referring to sexual orientation. This word refers to February 29th, the extra day added every 4th year to compensate for the 6 hours that our 365 day year falls short of the solar year.

cachinnate: to laugh loudly or immoderately

This sounds like a good idea, anything in immoderation especially laughing.

flumadiddle: utter nonsense, worthless frills. An Americanism, ( yay! This means we Americans made this up), combining flummery and diddle.

Sounds very sensible to me.

frabjous: informal, wonderful, elegant, superb. Coined by Lewis Carrol in Through the Looking Glass. ” O frabjous day! Callooh / Callay! / He chortled in his joy.

And last but not least, ( drum roll) :

quidnunc: a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip; a gossip or busybody.

I have know a few quidnuncs in my day.

The Quidnunc Comes to Visit

Last week an acquaintance dropped by and I asked her, “Do you have any plans for Bissextus?”

“I am not bissextus”, she replied, looking suspicious.

“Bissextus is a word for February 29th. It is a Latin word,” I said.

“Why can’t you just speak English like everyone else?” she said.

” That reminds me, did you watch the Republican debates?” she went on.

” Yes I watched something but I don’t know if I would call it a debate,” I answered.

“What did you think of it?” she continued.

“I thought it was too much bafflegab, and flumadiddle,” I exclaimed.

She looked befuddled and said, “Can you repeat that? I think I did not hear you correctly.”

I said, ” Bafflegab, and flumadiddle.”

“Oh well now I see,” she said but she didn’t, looking wide eyed at me.

I began to cachinnate and fell on the floor as she scurried out the door.

After I caught my breath, I said, “Oh frabjous day! The quidnunc went away!

 

That is all I have to say on this.

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is hosted by Linda G Hill. Words and definitions are from Dictionary.com. Featured image of Alice Through the Looking Glass is by sammydavisdog on Flickr.

 

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I Want One of These and A Secret Door Bookcase

Spotted this mentioned on Huffington Post today. Emerald Pellot of Little Things shared the DIY You Tube video from I Like To Make Stuff about how to build your own secret door bookcase. I know I couldn’t make it myself but I can still dream. The only thing is I would like it to open into a finished room or secret passageway. That’s why I love those old European castles and big mansions that have these hidden rooms and hidden stairways. It’s pretty hard to duplicate in modern Californian tract houses but it would be fun to try.

 

Thursday Doors is hosted by Norm Frampton. You can click to read about it and read other interesting posts. Today’s post is dedicated to my coming back from the flu, happy daydreaming, and having my first cup of coffee in a week. Featured image is of Lyme Park ( otherwise known as Pemberley )  by David Dixon on geograph.org.uk.

 

Imaginary Destination

I wrote about this imaginary place previously for my post “Spectacular Settings.” This really captures my imagination. I am reposting a part of it. It is the setting from The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.

Mrs. Medlock, the housekeeper, describes the setting ( Misselthwaite Manor) to the main character Mary: “Not but that it’s a grand big place in a gloomy way, and Mr. Craven’s proud of it in his way—and that’s gloomy enough, too. The house is six hundred years old and it’s on the edge of the moor, and there’s near a hundred rooms in it, though most of them’s shut up and locked. And there’s pictures and fine old furniture and things that’s been there for ages, and there’s a big park round it and gardens and trees with branches trailing to the ground—some of them.” She paused suddenly and took another breath. “But there’s nothing else,” she ended suddenly.

Why I like this setting:

I love mysteries and this setting is very mysterious. A six hundred year old mansion on the edge of the moor with a hundred rooms, and most of the rooms closed off. A secret garden, a sad reclusive uncle, and a child heard crying at night. I love when Mary starts to explore the gardens and then one day, when it rains and she can’t go outside, she decides to explore the house. What will she find down all those dark corridors and behind those closed doors?

I would love to go to a place like Misselthwaite Manor and roam around the inside and outside. To find secret rooms and secret gardens. ❤

This post is for Love Is In Da Blog hosted by Bee Halton, prompt 25 February “fantastical destinations.” Book cover image from Houghton Library at Harvard University.

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Ain’t I a Woman?

Ain’t I a Woman?, is the title of a speech given by the African American suffragette and abolitionist who called herself Sojourner Truth. I first read this speech when I was studying Women’s history in my American History course in college. I loved the speech from the first time I read it. We do not have an exact version of the speech which was given on May 29, 1851 at the Women’s Rights Convention in Akron, Ohio because it was not recorded word for word but have a version by Frances Gage who was present at the time. In the speech Sojourner says she has never been given any special treatment like some others claim are due to women. And she asks, “Ain’t I a Woman? ”

 

A text of the speech and some history.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is hosted by Linda G Hill. The Prompt for today was to use a contraction at the beginning and end of our posts.

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Love in Autumn

After Jim died I was in a cold, gray fog. The kids were all there with me for the funeral but it is the part that comes after that is the hardest. I moved around dazed feeling like I was walking through Jello. What used to be inconsequential little things, those things I took for granted, would bring back memories to stab at my heart. The absence of the weight of his body on the other side of the bed. The way he would throw his arm over me in the middle of the night. All the million little details he attended to that made my life easier. Each time I confronted something on my own it was a painful reminder that he was gone. I did have a small financial cushion but it would not maintain me in the house. I would have to sell our home and figure out where would be the best place to land next. I did not want my kids to be burdened with a helpless old woman. Is that what I am, a helpless old woman? I was a young woman once who might have been considered a bit radical. What happened to that independent girl who believed in Women’s Liberation? Can I bring her back again? I was scrolling through my Email when I noticed a message from Road Scholar announcing a trip to London to visit all the places that are associated with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and his excellent detective Sherlock Holmes. I had been a great lover of English mysteries and Sherlock Holmes. I always thought it would be wonderful to see 221B Baker Street. Jim and I had wanted to travel but life doesn’t always give you exactly what you want. I signed up for the trip. I could not believe it was really happening when my plane lifted off from LAX. I ordered a glass of wine and stuffed my IPod ear buds in to relax to the sounds of La Boheme, one of my favorite Puccini operas. I must have fallen into a deep sleep because before I knew it the plane was touching down at Heathrow.

Our tour group met in the hotel lobby later that morning. Our guide was an energetic young man who quickly herded us aboard our coach. As I took my seat on the tour bus I doubted myself for a moment, my critical voice chattering in my ear, You’re an old fool. What ever made you think it was a good idea to squander money on a trip like this!   I pulled out my itinerary to check what was scheduled for the day. That was when I heard someone asking me, Is this your first trip to London?  I turned to look in the direction of the voice and saw an older gentleman sitting next to me. His gentle brown eyes held my gaze.

This is my Flash Fiction contribution to the WEP Valentine Challenge, click on the link if you want to know more about it. Featured Image of Sherlock Holmes Museum by Anders Thirsgaard on Flickr.

Approx. 475 words

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For those in the US, if you would like to do more to help Seniors combat hunger click on the link below to the AARPfoundation.org

During February, AARP will highlight 29 Days of Action – simple things individuals can do to help combat hunger and food insecurity.

Source: 29 Ways to Combat Senior Hunger