Tag Archives: humor

Writing Nerdy About Sporks

“Let me tell you how I came by 1,000,000 sporks and what I plan to do with them…”

This is a prompt from Writing Nerdy this week. I have to confess that I had to google “spork” to see if it was a real word and found out it is a combination of a spoon and a fork. Another name given for this handy product is “foon.”

Hey diddle, diddle

The cat and the fiddle

The cow jumped over the moon

The little dog laughed to see such sport

And the dish ran away with the foon.

How I Came By 1,000,000 Sporks and What I Plan To Do With Them

I was standing in my backyard one afternoon when suddenly the sky clouded up getting darker and darker. A lightening bolt flashed in the distance and I heard the loud rumbling of thunder. Rain started falling and pelted the water in the pool. Were the drops getting bigger? What was making that loud splashing noise?

I walked over to the pool to investigate disregarding the fact I was getting soaked. I looked over the edge of the pool and saw there were all these white objects floating on the surface and, as they piled on top of each other, some of them were sinking.

I ran over to get the large net we used to scoop leaves out of the pool and scooped up about a dozen of these little white plastic things. I was astonished to see they were white plastic spoons. They did not look like regular spoons because they had little teeth on the edges like short prongs of a fork. I recalled getting these kind of spoons sealed in clear plastic from fast food restaurants.

I was not sure what to make of all this. I thought I better go back inside and get out of the rain. I could think about this odd occurrence over a nice cup of chai rooibos.

The splashing in the pool continued for about 30 minutes. I worked up my courage to go out and see the final outcome. I had to get close to the pool to believe what I was seeing. The backyard was flooded with about a half foot of water. I sloshed my way over to the pool.

There was a small mountain of the plastic utensils in the center of the pool. The water had been displaced by their volume.  It is hard to find enough adjectives that would adequately describe my emotions. A few would be flabbergasted, dumbfounded, mystified, astounded, rattled, shocked and stunned.

I went back into the house to text my husband. How were we going to clean up this mess? I turned on my computer to distract myself for a bit while I tried to get control of my nerves.

That was when I saw the bulletin. “Plane carrying large shipment of plastic products from China struck by lightening over Los Angeles today…many Angelinos reporting strange plastic items falling from the sky during rain storm.” Another headline proclaimed, ” It’s Raining Sporks in LA! ”

We had to rent a large dumpster and hire a man to come and shovel all the sporks out of our pool. The story was written up in our local newspaper, The Acorn. The headline read, ” Chinese Sporks Overflow Local  Pool.”

We decided to donate our sporks to all the schools and senior centers in the county for craft projects. Our local school made a spork sculpture in our honor. The kids made the sporks into a large hulking superhero character. They called the sculpture ” The Big Buff Foon. ”

Spork via wikipedia

writin-nerdy-blog-button

Writing Nerdy-About a Little Bug

 

 

 

Monster 6I can’t resist this guy or girl, so whimsical. This is a prompt from Nerd in the Brain. Where does he/she come from? What is his/her world like? What happened to cause him/her to have that look on his/her face? What was for dinner last night? Just what is he/she up to, eh?

 

Ode to the Flu Bug

I am qualmish,

Not so hot,

Under the weather,

Indisposed,

Rocky,

Out of sorts,

Out of action,

Something is amiss,

I think I have been invaded by this little bug.

This is how I would feel if I caught something that looked like this guy/girl. I did feel like this a few weeks ago.

The little bug says in reply:

The Flu Bug’s Refrain

I have a crazy life,

Floating around from here to there,

Ejected forcefully from someone’s nose,

I am just trying to find a nice host,

A warm, cozy place,

To live out my short life,

Is that too much to ask?

Give me a break.

 

writin-nerdy-blog-button

 

 

One Liner Wednesday-Funny Lady

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”–Phyllis Diller

Early in her career Phyllis Diller did stand up comedy in San Francisco at a club called The Purple Onion in 1955. I never saw her there. I would have been too young at that time. I did go to The Purple Onion on a prom date several years later.

Phyllis Diller was one of the first female stand up comedians. She always made me laugh. Especially when she did skits that included her husband Fang.

 

|OneLinerWednesday|

Guilty Pleasure

When I am really into one of my blog topics, I can spend the whole day sitting in front of my computer. I am there happily researching articles and other sources I find on the internet that pertain to my topic. Jotting down a few notes, links, and then looking for images on Creative Commons that will be the visual components.

I have had some guilty feelings over my lack of exercise. My treadmill sits abandoned behind me as I write and looks at me reproachfully. I have even thought about how my sitting like this is not the best for my back. Well today I was absolved of my guilt by a very funny post I saw on Hyperallergic by Hallie Bateman entitled:

The Art of Posture.”

Thank You Hallie for relieving my guilt and giving me a good laugh.