The chateau sounded like the perfect getaway even if it was a bit remote. She was to have the use of a car after all. When her best friend heard about it she said that it was just like her to commit to something without really thinking it through. All Jessie knew was that she needed to get away. The recent break up had left her pretty low. The door opened just as she reached up to knock. We’ve been expecting you, he said as their eyes met, welcome home Mademoiselle. A voice in her head said, Run!
Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Image courtesy of Ceayr.
Notes Tied On The Sagebrush 
Ooo scary ending there, she should trust her instincts.
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She should listen to that voice in her head. 🙂
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Uh oh!
Nice finish.
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Thank You. Many times I do not know how these stories are going to end.
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Interesting twist at the end. You managed to paint a scary scene in a very short span. I find that amazing.
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Thanks Dan. Yes there is this pressure or challenge to work it out in 100 words. I start writing and many end up cutting out a few sentences or shortening them, changing words. It is interesting because many times I don’t know where I am going at the beginning and then I have to wrap it up pretty quickly. 🙂
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You do it very well.
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Thank You, Dan. ❤
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I hope her need to get away does not cloud her judgement. She should turn and run while she still can …better safe than sorry. It sounds like she already has enough problems! Wonderful story and great ending.
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In her case running away from her problems lead to bigger problems. Thank You!
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Oh no! I think she should run – especially if she wasn’t expecting this man to open the door. Great story!
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Thank You, Joy! Yes, I was trying to show that she did not expect this man to be there and was alarmed. 🙂
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I hope she runs! 🙂 Great story!
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Well she better run, otherwise this will be a lot longer story. 🙂
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Hahaha!! I hadn’t thought of that. 😀
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Trust her gut! Proof that running away is not always the answer…
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Yes and sometimes the unexpected happens and messes up our plans of a happy escape. 🙂
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To be expected like that is not good… She had better run before the gates close.
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You are right. 🙂
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Hope she at least tries to run later.
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It would be good for her to run from the chateau but to deal with her life. 🙂
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Yeah, for goodness sake just get the hell out of there!
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Dear Deborah,
I concur. She needs to run…find another place to escape. I don’t think this one’s going to work for her. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank You, Rochelle.
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I absolutely love that creepy twist, it came completely unexpected. Running away from running away, poor woman…
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It was a bit unexpected to me too. My writing process seems to go off on its own when I am working on these short short stories. 🙂 And Thank You!
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Deborah! You have a wonderful way of capturing the reader into your story even with using such few words! I wonder if your protagonist got out of there in time!
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Thank You, Lia! It would probably be a more interesting story if she did not get out or if she ran and someone was following her. 🙂
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If you’re in the mood for constructive feedback, I loved the piece but think it’d have been even more chilling with “Welcome home, mademoiselle.” as the final line. Really imaginative story, though – very readable, and left me wanting to know more.
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I think this story could go in different directions for sure. Thank You.
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I don’t like the sound of that, at all. It sounds like she’s not expected to leave. It makes me want to yell “Run”. Good, and creepy story, Deborah. You put the fear across simply. Well done.
— Suzanne
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No, it doesn’t sound good. Thank You, Suzanne!
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