For most of my life I have operated within an external structure that was created by society. For many years there was school, then work, then parenthood. My roles and functions were defined, student, employee, wife and mother. In these roles I knew what was expected. Then, as I got older, I found the ground shifting with changing and decreased opportunities for work. My job as a parent was changing a lot as my kids moved into adulthood. They did not need me in their lives as much. So I found myself not needed for the working world and not needed so much as a mother. This has left quite a void. So much of how we define outselves is through our work or adult roles. I have to create my own structure and role now and I am not sure how to do that, what it will look like, and what I want it to be. My earlier life did not prepare me for this very well. I think that having structure created from the outside handicaps people from being able to function without it. It makes it hard to create structure from inside.


Stones image by


Harder to find your direction.


Path of Biotope of Fiave via dega 180 Wikimedia


My husband and I have started landscaping the front and back yard with the help of good workers. I have never been a garderner but now I have been shopping for plants and ground cover that are drought tolerant and low maintenance. I discovered Wooly Thyme.


Featured Image Stone Structure Ruins via Public Domain

14 thoughts on “Structure

  1. Kat

    Deborah, I am facing a similar dilemma. I’m transitioning to a mostly empty house, except for the days that the little guys spend here and definitely need to find a new structure to my days.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Deborah Drucker Post author

      It seems like we have to create our own map and find our own path. I have been tutoring part time for a couple of years. I think I have decided I really do not want to work full time any more. I also volunteer for literacy tutoring once a week. The literacy tutoring is good because I help non-native English speakers learn to read better. I read A LOT for enjoyment and intellectual stimulation. But it has been and still is a big adjustment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. joey

    I’m glad you not only give of your time and take up a new hobby, but also that you’ve thought to tell us about it.
    Isn’t it funny how someone stuck in such structured roles could only see the freedom of your situation, but when that freedom comes, you miss the structure and expectation?
    We are all striving for balance.
    Wooly thyme is good 🙂

    Liked by 1 person



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