For most of my life I have operated within an external structure that was created by society. For many years there was school, then work, then parenthood. My roles and functions were defined, student, employee, wife and mother. In these roles I knew what was expected. Then, as I got older, I found the ground shifting with changing and decreased opportunities for work. My job as a parent was changing a lot as my kids moved into adulthood. They did not need me in their lives as much. So I found myself not needed for the working world and not needed so much as a mother. This has left quite a void. So much of how we define outselves is through our work or adult roles. I have to create my own structure and role now and I am not sure how to do that, what it will look like, and what I want it to be. My earlier life did not prepare me for this very well. I think that having structure created from the outside handicaps people from being able to function without it. It makes it hard to create structure from inside.
Stones image by Pixabay.com
Harder to find your direction.
Path of Biotope of Fiave via dega 180 Wikimedia
My husband and I have started landscaping the front and back yard with the help of good workers. I have never been a garderner but now I have been shopping for plants and ground cover that are drought tolerant and low maintenance. I discovered Wooly Thyme.
Featured Image Stone Structure Ruins via Public Domain Pictures.net
Notes Tied On The Sagebrush 
Deborah, I am facing a similar dilemma. I’m transitioning to a mostly empty house, except for the days that the little guys spend here and definitely need to find a new structure to my days.
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It seems like we have to create our own map and find our own path. I have been tutoring part time for a couple of years. I think I have decided I really do not want to work full time any more. I also volunteer for literacy tutoring once a week. The literacy tutoring is good because I help non-native English speakers learn to read better. I read A LOT for enjoyment and intellectual stimulation. But it has been and still is a big adjustment. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Just Fooling Around With Bee or The Bee Writes… and commented:
This are important thoughts and wise words and I like the discovery bit :-). Thanks Deborah for sharing:
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Thank You, Bee. ❤ Glad you liked it. 🙂
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You make really good points. I think transitioning can be challenging but rewarding too.
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It is a definite transition and it has taken me some time to have made some progress through it. I am starting to have peace with it. Thank You, Tanya ❤
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That’s wonderful! Im sure you enjoy volunteering and gardening–both rewarding and meaningful ways to spend time. Take care! 😊
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Thanks, Tanya. 🙂
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It’s hard to avoid being defined by what we do. I wish you all the best in defining yourself.
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Yes we are defined by what we do for much of our lives. And there is a lot of pressure to be doing. I am getting more into being…me? or finding me. Thanks, Dan. ❤
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I’m glad you not only give of your time and take up a new hobby, but also that you’ve thought to tell us about it.
Isn’t it funny how someone stuck in such structured roles could only see the freedom of your situation, but when that freedom comes, you miss the structure and expectation?
We are all striving for balance.
Wooly thyme is good 🙂
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I have been there too with different jobs. It is probably better to develop one’s own structure. Yeah, woolly thyme is so good. Thanks, Joey. ❤
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Life is constantly changing. Hope peace, love and family surround you, always. That is all that is important. xoxoxo
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It is true that we have to be prepared for change. I am going through another stage of life. Thank You for your sweet message. <3<3 xo
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