Author Archives: Deborah Drucker

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About Deborah Drucker

I am a native of California who lives in Southern California. I have a background in healthcare and Special Education. Writing is a new adventure for me.

Message To The Stars

We all need stories that ignite our imaginations and provide inspiration for our lives and dreams.The story of the Voyager Mission  has been an inspiration for me. There were two Voyager spacecraft launched in the late 1970s. I was first married around that time but I did not become aware of Voyager until the Fall of 2009 when I was a student in a teaching credential program. Learning about Voyager really captured my imagination. I created a lesson for my students which included some of the great photos from the NASA website. I hoped it would inspire them as well and engage their interest in space exploration and science.

The Voyagers were designed to perform studies of Jupiter, Saturn, Saturn’s rings and the larger moons of those two planets. Later the mission was expanded to include Uranus, Neptune and a total of 48 moons of the four planets. Voyager sent back many beautiful images of these planets and moons. The voyagers made several discoveries including 3 new moons of Jupiter, 11 new moons of Uranus and five of Neptune. The Great Red Spot of Jupiter could be seen through earth telescopes but Voyager found out it was actually a storm moving counterclockwise across the planet. One of Jupiter’s moons, Io, was shown to have nine erupting volcanoes. These were the first active volcanoes seen anywhere else in the solar system. One of Saturn’s moons, Titan, has an atmospheric chemistry that may be like Earth’s before life evolved. On February 14, 1990, Voyager 1 took the final pictures of the mission 3.7 billion miles away from us. Voyager turned back toward earth and captured an image that Carl Sagan called ” a pale blue dot.”  More information about the mission can been found on the Fact Sheet.

Placed on each spacecraft is The Golden Record  which contains our message to any extraterrestrial intelligent life that may discover our spacecraft in the future. Each record has encoded on it images from earth, information on anatomy, DNA, spoken greetings in 55 different languages, music and natural sounds including a human heartbeat, animals, birds, ocean and weather. You can listen to these sounds and see some of the photos on the NASA website.

Written on the cover of the record are instructions for accessing the information and images, spoken messages, music and sounds ; a pulsar map showing the location of our solar system; a drawing of the hydrogen atom, and a kind of radioactive clock that would allow extraterrestrials to determine when the spacecraft was launched.

Recently the Voyagers have entered interstellar space. They will continue on their journey through the Milky Way. The last instrument on the spacecraft is expected to stop working in 2025.

The Voyager Mission was an inspiration for part of the first Star Trek movie in 1979 which is about the Enterprise finding an alien spacecraft that calls itself V’ Ger. The crew discovers that is was originally an earth probe called Voyager 6 that was redesigned by an alien machine race and sent back to find its creator.

Maybe someday our descendants will receive a return message.

Real Women Have Curves

I am sure many of you have seen this movie but if not I highly recommend it. I watched it again last night with my husband. Love it!! The main character and heroine Ana is played by America Ferrera. She is beautiful, smart, and has curves. She is struggling to be an independent and modern woman.

Her mother, who is played so well by Lupe Ontiveros, has traditional values and thinks it is Ana’s duty to stay home with her family, lose weight so she can find a boyfriend, get married and have children as soon as possible.

Ana has dreams of college but is unsure it is a possibility for her because her family is poor and no one in her family has gone to college. Her High School teacher, Mr. Guzman, played by George Lopez, works hard to encourage her.  Will she pursue her own dreams or give in to what her mother wants? Ana’s boyfriend is played by Brian Sites. He does a great job as the sweet, supportive classmate and friend of Ana.

The very positive message of this film is to believe in yourself and that real, beautiful, and smart women do have curves.

Celery From Santa Cruz

The California agriculture industry is one of the biggest in the world. According to the California Agriculture Statistics Review 2013-2014 it is “the country’s largest agricultural producer and exporter….supplying 99 percent or more of the following: almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, grapes (raisins), kiwifruit, olives, peaches (Clingstone), pistachios, plums (dried), pomegranates, rice (sweet), seed (Ladino Clover), and walnuts.” In the central California city of  Salinas you will see fields with signs that say “Salinas, Salad Bowl of the World.” Even closer to my home in Southern California you find many farms in Ventura County that produce much of the strawberries, lemons, raspberries and celery of the state.

Then how come I have trouble finding California produce at some of my local markets. Until the other day when I picked up a package of celery off the shelf with a “grown local” label and to my happy surprise the celery was from Santa Cruz. That’s Santa Cruz, California which is located on the coast west of Salinas. And there was some organic lettuce which was from Bakersfield. This is not often the case however. My husband came home with some avocados and when I looked at the label on them I saw they were from Peru. Come on, Peru? It’s not like avocados are out of season here because California avocados are in season year round.

Importing all these fruits and vegetables from other countries does not support local growers and is not good for the environment. Shipping produce in by truck, plane or boat burns up a lot of fuel and adds to air pollution.

If our beautiful state of California grows most of the country’s fruit and vegetables  it seems we should be able to supply our own people with all the fruits and vegetables they would ever need.

I plan to continue reading labels and buying as much local organic produce as I can find.

Books, Pens and Paper

Morning Note with Coffee

I love books. Books printed on heavy paper with hard cloth covers. Have you noticed that a new book has a certain smell. Is it the paper or the glue that is binding the pages or the ink? Old books smell musty. I like holding a book better than reading off an electronic device.

I like good quality paper to write on. With different colored pens. When I was in elementary school I used to have fountain pens with ink cartridges that you inserted into the barrel. There is beauty in using a fountain pen. Writing with liquid ink is like painting the words on the paper.

Maybe I was a scribe in a former life or worked in the ancient library in Alexandria.  Copying books onto papyrus scrolls.

Tying Notes On The Sagebrush

I just wrote a blog about going through transitions. Making it sound like that once you go through one it is a done deal and you are finished. I am discovering that you can think you are done with it and surprise, surprise! here it comes again. I think I am starting into another transition. Is it because I did not work through the last one completely or is it because I am making a change?

Since I have started my blog I have found myself lying awake in the middle of the night thinking about my life and where it’s going. Maybe it is the change I am making by writing a blog. Change triggers the transition process according to William Bridges who has developed a theory of transitions.

Geez, do I need this? Not sleeping. Having my equilibrium disrupted. Have I opened a can of worms with this blogging?

I went on the Community Page to get feedback and everyone is so young looking. Can they appreciate my style and humor? Can anyone appreciate my style and humor? At least one blogger was kind and “liked” my blog. Some of my friends and family have been supportive.

All right, take a deep breath! I started off with a bang like my daughter said. I actually got a piece published on an online magazine, BetterAfter50. I was on a cloud. I was over the moon.

Then I decided I can write a blog. Why not? It is a dream of mine to be a writer. But it is hard to put yourself out there. A bit scary.  Is anyone reading it or listening?

I was thinking about a film in which one of main characters is a woman living out in the middle of the frontier in the American West. Her husband goes off on some business and does not return. He had died when his horse stumbled and fell on top of him, trapping him. She is waiting for him, and in the meantime, trying to hold things together for her family. She is very lonely and writes notes about her feelings and ties them on the sagebrush. One day a cowboy finds the notes. (The film is “Conagher” with Katherine Ross and Sam Elliott based on a novel by Louis L’Amour.)

Writing a blog is like that. Tying notes on the sagebrush.

Transitions! Transitions! ( sung to the tune of Tradition from Fiddler on the Roof) or Semi-Retirement is Not for Sissies

I have been reading a lot about life after retirement. How our boomer generation is expected to live longer. That we could look forward to 20 or 30 more years after reaching the typical retirement age of 65. There is a large chunk of our age group who will not enter full retirement at 65. Those of us who have been involuntarily unemployed before even reaching retirement age.  I get a kick out of this euphemism involuntarily unemployed. I have seen it used in a couple of articles I have read recently. It is another way of saying your job was eliminated, terminated or you were laid off unexpectedly. This happens to more and more older people nowadays before they get the chance to reach retirement age. They find themselves adrift and scrambling to find another job to get them to retirement. The usual scenario is that they remain unemployed for an extended period and then if they find another job it is at a much lower pay scale or they can only find part-time or temp work. So this makes it hard to prepare financially for retirement at the age of 65 and people then find themselves needing to work for more years.

If you are lucky enough to find yourself voluntarily unemployed or retired you need to worry about what to do with yourself for 20 or 30 years. That is assuming you are lucky to live that long. So another topic that is popular now is what you should do with yourself for those 20 or 30 years. Although you may have looked forward to having nothing to do it can end up being boring and depressing we are told. You could find yourself experiencing “retirement burnout.” So there are blogs and articles that give us advice about that.

For those of us who don’t want to retire there can be encore careers. There is a whole industry out there of advice books, blogs and career counselors that are all too willing to advice us on what to do and how to do it. They tell us we can happily transition into encore careers of great fulfillment and purpose.

Whether you are voluntarily or involuntarily unemployed, you are making a major transition. You are experiencing a loss. A loss of what you thought your last working years before retirement would look like if you were involuntarily unemployed and a loss of your identity as a person with a full-time job or career even if you voluntarily retired. Then there is a period of being adrift emotionally as you try to adjust to the change that has happened. You need to let go of your expectations and past identity before you can form a new one and embrace your new life. Or figure out what you are going to do with yourself. It is a transition we must all go through anytime we experience change that is expected or unexpected according to William Bridges who has written about and had a whole career in the subject of Transitions. He describes the process as occurring in 3 stages. First: Disengagement or letting go of the old, Second: the Neutral Zone, which is where I am now, (Neutral Zone reminds me of The Twilight Zone), Third: the New Beginning where you know where you’re going.

I have found the Letting Go Stage to be a bit sticky. I thought I had let go of my feelings about losing my job and let go of my feelings about not getting re-established in a teaching career. But recently, I found I am still working on letting go or working through the feelings. Bridges says you have to do this before you can go on to the next steps.

I have been in the middle of this transition for the past 6 years. I am one of those who was involuntarily  unemployed (trying saying that real fast 5 times) and then unable to find full-time employment again even after getting a teaching credential in an effort to transition into another job sector. I have been working part-time since the age of 60.  It has been a journey from losing my job, to getting my credential, to trying to find full-time employment as a teacher, to working as a substitute teacher and not liking it, to looking into healthcare jobs again, and now working as a private tutor. I also volunteer tutor at a local adult school literacy center.

I am now at the place where I am thinking about what the next stage of my life might look like, the New Beginning. I no longer want to devote all my energy to a full-time job even though it would give me a better income. I have weighed how much energy I have and am willing to give to a traditional full-time job compared to how important it is to me to have flexibility and free time to do whatever else I want to do. I don’t think I even have the energy for a full-time job anymore. At least not the kind of job that is 40+ hours a week with 2 weeks off a year for good behavior. I find at the present time I enjoy having a flexible work schedule.

I am not done with this transition period yet though. I know that what I am doing now is an interim thing or only part of what I want to be doing. I feel I do need more. Not just filling my time with busy work either. I want to be engaged in something else. So now to find out what that else is going to be.

Now Voyager

“ Now, Voyager, sail thou forth to seek and find.” Walt Whitman

It can be a struggle to find our voice, to come in to our own. It can take a long time or never happen at all.  We all need role models and stories about people who have gone through what we are going through and come out all right. That is why I love stories about late bloomers or people overcoming obstacles and finding their true selves and voice. They are so inspiring and life affirming.  Like Susan Boyle who stood up in front of those “judges” with her heavy eyebrows and a bit dowdy looks, opened her mouth, and out came this angel voice.

I’ve always liked old movies on this theme as well. Those with strong women characters who have overcome obstacles.  One is “Now, Voyager” with Betty Davis. In it she plays a woman who is so oppressed by her mother that her true self is almost lost. When we first see her she looks frumpy with heavy eyebrows. What is it with the heavy eyebrows?  Then after having a  breakdown she goes to this beautiful sanitarium and is treated by this humanistic psychiatrist, (today with our improved healthcare system, she would be given a prescription for Prozac and told to come back in a month).  She then goes through a metamorphosis and becomes, what was inside all along, a beautiful woman who has sensitivity, a brain and a great Orry Kelly wardrobe.  Her new self is very vulnerable and she almost gives up.  But she receives support from someone who loves her for who she truly is and this gives her strength to face up to her critical disapproving mother and relatives. It helps to have support of at least one other person who accepts us for who we are becoming.

It is not just the outward appearance or physical makeover that is important in itself. The outward appearance means nothing if inwardly you have not changed. In this movie, the outward change is a symbol of what is going on inside as the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis signals inner transformation.

Another movie about finding yourself is  “ Pat and Mike” with Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy.  Pat is a very talented woman athlete. She excels at golf and tennis. Spencer Tracy plays Mike her mentor, manager and coach. Pat is very sensitive to her boyfriend Collier’s disapproval. This boyfriend is her kryptonite. Every time he is watching her perform she falls apart and can’t do anything right when he is around. Mike says Pat is like a thoroughbred racehorse, very sensitive and high strung. His support of her and belief in her abilities help her to build her self-confidence.

It is so important for everyone to be able to find expression for their true selves, abilities and passions. In his book “Cancer as a Turning Point” Lawrence LeShan  describes his work with many people diagnosed with cancer. He found that it is crucial for people to mobilize their immune systems in fighting cancer. To find “what is his (or her) special and unique ways of being, relating, creating , that are his own and natural ways to live…” Not doing what we think we should do but what we need to do for our lives to be fulfilling. That this gives us a zest for life and makes us glad to get up in the morning. He says, “Do not worry about what the world wants of you. Worry about what makes you come alive because what the world needs is people who are more alive.”

Weight Loss Can Be A Losing Battle

images  weight loss

I have noticed that whenever my husband decides to cut back on calories the teensiest bit the pounds start dropping off him. While, since I’ve gotten older, I could eat only 1 pretzel a day and the numbers on the scale do not vary by one ounce. I have done a “scientific survey” of a couple of my women friends and they have had similar experiences.

I have read many articles on weight loss that list reasons why older women have trouble losing weight. It can be hormonal. The thyroid gland may be wearing out or it can be an increase of the stress hormone cortisol. Or I could be eating too much gluten or high fructose corn syrup. I have read even the fat cells themselves resist being eliminated when they notice you are not eating as much and that epigenetics may be a factor.

The way I understand how epigenetics works is that something that happened to my ancestors may influence what my body is doing today. Like, if your ancestors experienced famine it can affect how your body reacts to what it perceives as starvation.  I have been thinking that, because I am half Irish, some of my ancestors may have gone through the Potato Famine and, therefore , whenever I try to reduce my caloric intake my fat cells start screaming “FAMINE!, FAMINE!” and my metabolism shuts down.

Speaking of metabolism, according to Web MD our metabolism decreases by 5 percent a decade after the age of 40. So by the time I am 70 my metabolism will be down by 15 per cent. Then I will probably have to live on half a pretzel a day.

Another discouraging thing is where my body has decided to deposit the fat as I have gotten older. My body seems to prefer storing a lot of the fat in my upper arms. That is why I always wear things that have ¾ sleeves or longer. Except for occasional lapses like my son’s wedding when I wore a sleeveless gown. Well, it was July in Southern California. But when I saw the wedding pictures I thought “Why did the photographer take that picture that showed my arms like that? And I should have worn one of those dresses with the filmy ¾ sleeves or a wrap even if it was 80 degrees in the shade.” My mother had big arms when she got older so it is probably hereditary.

You would think that when I diet that I would lose some of that weight off my arms. What happens is, I lose weight off my face and it is replaced by wrinkles so that I look like a prune. My doctor said the face is where people lose weight first. I told him I do not like the look.

Well maybe it’s time to run up the white flag and accept the fact that I am not going to win this fight and learn to accept the heavier version of my former self. Don’t get me wrong, I am still planning to eat healthy. But I have to eat more than 1 pretzel a day.