Mothers And Daughters

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“See, people come into your life for a reason. They might not know it themselves, why. You might not know it. But there’s a reason. There has to be”
― Joyce Carol Oates

My mother in law was married on November 24, 1948. She did not know that her first daughter in law was being born a little over a week later. We did not meet each other for another 26 years. My future husband had talked me into driving down to Los Angeles with him after we had a big fight. She did not like me at first. He was her first-born and she was definitely not ready to relinquish him. I was the wrong religion. I would marry her son 3 years later. My mother in law had 4 sons and was used to a house full of males. It was a nice change to have me at the dinner table because I was appreciative of her cooking. She was my mother in law for forty years. She taught me how to make chicken soup. She helped me shop for my wedding gown and plan my wedding. I was her first daughter in law and I gave birth to her first grandchild, my son Scott. She first learned about being a mother in law with me. It was not always an easy relationship. Especially after my son was born and 4 years later my daughter, Kate. She had very strong opinions about many things including child rearing. I had my own ideas. As the years passed she became less critical and I became less sensitive. I suspected it might have been her experience with the next two daughter in-laws had taught her to be more diplomatic. Through it all, the holiday dinners, kid’s birthday parties, graduations, and major illnesses, my in-laws were always there. Both of my parents were gone and my children had only one set of grandparents, one grandmother. In her later years she developed dementia and gradually became less talkative. I think she still recognized me. She had often said she thought of me as the daughter she never had. My mother in law, Mary Lynn, passed away in the first hour of Thanksgiving day with most of her family around her. For a large part of my life she was the mother I never had.

One Liner Wednesday is hosted by Linda G Hill. Featured image is of the ‘Barbara Bush Rose’ via wikimedia.

12 thoughts on “Mothers And Daughters”

  3. Cynthia Diament

    Debbie,
    This is so beautifully written. I have known you through just about that whole time period having met you and Mike shortly after your wedding. It is really lovely to see how the relationship blossomed between you and your mother-in-law. By any chance, did you read this at the funeral? It is a wonderful thing to share and you write are a gifted writer. Love,
    Cynthia

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    1. Deborah Drucker Post author

      I am reflecting back on the relationship and will probably continue to do so for quite a while. I did not read at the funeral. I appreciated the lovely service by the Rabbi from my brother in law’s temple. Thank you, Cynthia. xo ❤

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  4. Dede Drucker

    This was well written and you paved the way for Rick and I for sure. You had a special relationship with her. I know at times it could not have been easy. We commend you. For now let’s enjoy all the good family moments. It will make some of the sadness fade away a bit. Sending love your way, sister in law. Xoxo

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