It’s Good To Be Quiet

30 Replies

For many years I did not realize that many of my traits were related to my temperament. That I am an introvert, empathic and highly sensitive. I knew that small talk and large social gatherings exhausted me. I knew that I relished time alone and needed time to recover after a busy day of activities especially if those activities involved interacting with people. I think other people had a hard time understanding this behavior. Once I understood it was part of my temperament, and that it was ok to be this way, it made it easier for me to accept myself.

Susan Cain wrote this book, “Quiet,” about introverts and of course I read it. Now Susan Cain is starting up a Quiet Revolution Community website . It is scheduled to launch in April. Here is what she said about it:

“Our intention in building this space is to share and encourage each other. One of my favorite parts of the new site is a big new art project called Quiet Revolutionaries. This project is all about you, featuring you. Quiet Revolutionaries is an ever-expanding photo essay of people who have thought about what it means to have a quiet consciousness and/or to draw on their own quiet strengths. Our goal is to inspire, connect and celebrate our thoughtfully vibrant community.”

In a TED Talk Susan Cain explains traits of introverts and talks about how our society has not traditionally seen this as a positive trait and that the needs of introverts in schools and work places have been ignored. The idea of constantly working in groups is seen as the ideal. She makes some good points about how it may not be the ideal.

In a post about The Quiet Revolution on her website she talks about plans to redesign the workplace and school environments to be more in line with the needs of introverts, and develop the leadership skills of introverts in the workplace.

This is interesting and worthwhile information for introverts and the people who love them. It is worthwhile for parents and teachers to be aware of this as well.

30 thoughts on “It’s Good To Be Quiet”

  2. LifestyleswithLia

    Thanks for sharing your personal experience with us.. It’s so helpful to understand about introverts since I have a few in my life and being an extrovert, we don’t always see eye to eye or understand one another. Your post helped me to understand the traits of snow introvert better so that I can be more patient and understanding and know the person isn’t angry with me or avoiding me if they prefer to be alone or seek time away… Thanks again …

    Liked by 1 person

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      1. LifestyleswithLia

        Indeed… This really hit home and The TED talk was also very enlightening… Thanks again and have a lovely weekend …

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Teresa

    The thought I had on this was how the world in general wants to put everyone in a one size fits all system and this is due to the loudest or noisiest getting the attention. Ironically, it has been those behind the scenes, those quietly tinkering in their room or garage and those who silently think through… makes progress…

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Deborah Drucker Post author

      Well it is true that extroverts have been valued over introverts, at least in the West. There is value in both extroverts and introverts and some people are somewhere in the middle. It is supposed to be on a spectrum. I understand that Asian cultures have traditionally valued introverts.

      Liked by 1 person

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  6. Silver Threading

    It was only a few years ago that I figured out I was an introvert. I can talk with people easily, so was always labeled as an extrovert. I found myself over whelmed and retreating to the quiet of my home. Once I figured this out, it was an amazing revelation. I am much happier as an introvert. Now, I write better than I speak. ;-D

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Deborah Drucker Post author

      I think we are able to be closet introverts as Susan Cain mentions in her book and also not be aware of it because some of the traits were usually seen as negative. We can learn to be comfortable being more extroverted as well. Many writers are introverts. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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  7. Kat

    I can completely relate to this post. I honestly did not realize that so much of me that other people did not “get” was due to me being an introvert. It’s only recently that I became aware of how much that plays a part in who I am and how I interact with others.

    Liked by 1 person

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      1. Kat

        I sure hope so. When I’ve brought this up with a few people they seemed a little resistant to the idea that there was more to it than me being moody or impossible.

        Like

      3. Kat

        I shared different articles on facebook….. I’ve got some people in my life that prefer to blame it on me being a difficult person. lol That’s okay. I know what’s going on and I’ll keep trying to inform them. At least my husband is finally getting it because he’s heard me say so many of these things (without the introvert label attached) for so many years. Now he sees that it’s not a choice I made.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Kat

    Reblogged this on Dandelion Fuzz and commented:
    I hope you will take a minute to read this post by Deborah from Notes Tied on the Sagebrush. It’s all about introverts. If you are an introvert, it will give you some affirmation. If you aren’t an introvert but would like to read more, it will definitely fill you in!

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. El Rolyat

    Because of where we live (30 minutes away from one of the 7 Natural Wonders of the World) we constantly have house guests, most of them friends but also a few ‘hangers-on’ – all wanting somewhere free to stay while they put ticks against their bucket list. In the last year the most Piet and I got to spend on our own in any given month was 10 days!
    While I love company (sometimes, with the right people), I have always NEEDED to be alone sometimes! When the guests are here I have found myself wanting to spend more and more time either in my office or bedroom, reading, blogging, sleeping or just sitting and staring out of the window – just to get away from all the noise and bustle. I would *really* like to write a post about this but some of my friends read my blog and they might get offended (sorry for ranting here 😀 ).
    I was beginning to think I was turning into a misanthropist but after reading this I think that perhaps I am actually an introvert (and I seem to be getting ‘worse’ with age!). It would certainly explain a lot.

    Thank you for sharing (and listening 🙂 ) and for helping to settle something that has been worrying me for a while.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Deborah Drucker Post author

      I am glad you commented and that my post helped. I would like to say first that being an introvert is not a negative thing IMO. I relate to what you are saying about having guests. I do not have them any where near as often as you do but I recall that when I have had them I do tend to get very over stimulated and really feel the drain of not having enough down time. I would go overboard to spend time with them and be talking with them and I would really suffer the consequences. I can understand how you are in this situation with people wanting to take advantage of your location. Do not feel guilty about taking care of yourself and your needs. I would suggest that you have the right to set limits on how frequently and how long you allow guests to visit. I have found this out the hard way myself. And then I feel guilty because I want to set limits. But then my needs are just as important as my guests and so are yours. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. El Rolyat

        Drained is a good way to describe the feeling!
        I know, I should set limits but, like you, I feel guilty about that. I did make a start with the last lot we had – I said “no” when they asked me to take them sight-seeing and arranged a taxi for them instead. It was quite liberating (and wonderful to have the house to myself while they were gone 🙂 ).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Deborah Drucker Post author

        Good idea about setting limits and calling a taxi for your guests. Keep taking time for your needs. It is important. You don’t have to be available 24/7 or be a tour guide unless you want to.

        Like

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