“Although we have been made to believe that if we let go we will end up with nothing, life reveals just the opposite: that letting go is the real path to freedom.” –Sogyal Rinpoche
Letting go can be releasing long held negative emotions about things that happened in the past. Like perceived or real wrongs done to you by others, memories of people letting you down, or disappointments you have experienced.
When we have all this energy tied up in these feelings about past events it is not available for us in our life now. Part of us is still locked in that past and is unable to move forward to something new. Unable to fully experience our lives now.
There is another type of letting go I am thinking about now. We have to be willing to let go when something has not worked out for us or when we feel the need to move on to grow. When we experience disappointments or reach a place where we are stagnating.
There is a lot of resistance to letting go of the familiar when we do not know what will be there to fill that space. The familiar feels more secure even when we are very unhappy with our situation. It is known versus the scary unknown.
In the past, I have sometimes been unwilling to give up or admit something is not working out for me. It could have been a mixture of pride, fear of admitting failure, and thinking that it is wrong to give up. I have spent too long in many jobs because I thought I should not give up and admit it was not working out or that it was a bad fit for me.
I did not take the time to look inside at who I was and how that person fit with my work situation. Many times it was like trying to force a puzzle piece into a place where it really did not belong. Parts of it might look like it should fit but it just wasn’t quite the right shape. If you keep trying to fit yourself in and it is not working you need to look at that.
When you are able to admit that you need to make a change, it does take courage to let go. To let go of that dream and start looking for a better fit for you. In the beginning it is scary because you may not have any idea where you are going or what is the right direction.
At this point, it is good to listen to your inner voice and let it guide you in the direction that feels right to you. Trust that as you start to explore your horizons you will find the right path to where you need to go.
You will probably need to sit with the not knowing for a while as well. Many of us, including me, have a tendency to want to find the answer as soon as possible and embark on a new course right away. This can cause us to jump into something too quickly that is truly not the right fit. It is better to take time for reflection and exploration. To feel your way along through the process and check in with yourself to see what feels right. You need to be open, trust, and have faith. Then take the first step on the next part of your journey. The first step is letting go.
” Mystery is what happens to us when we allow life to evolve rather than having to make it happen all the time…Just to see. Just to notice. Just to be there.”–Joan Chittister
I am out of town for a few days. I wrote this a few days ago but felt it went well with Stream of Consciousness Saturday for “go.”
This is so meaningful and timely to me. I’ve been working on a post for tomorrow along the same line of thought. I think you are exactly right about listening to your inner voice. Thanks for sharing this lovely post. 🙂
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Thank You. ❤ I have thought that sometimes some of us are tuned into the same channel. 🙂
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I completely agree! I thought the same thing when I read your post. 🙂
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An excellent musing on the topic of “letting go.” It has been something that I’ve pondered, with various success and outcomes, over the last 20 years or so. If you then add the bit “letting *yourself* go…” you can spin off THAT for quite a while, too, for there are many connotations.
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Thank You Laura. ❤ I know what you mean I am still working on this task myself of letting go of things from the past especially. Because sometimes they can be buried pretty deep. I am not sure about the letting yourself go. 😀 Unless you mean cutting yourself some slack and giving yourself self-compassion, letting yourself off the hook for things or forgiving yourself. 🙂 I am working on some of that too. 🙂
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Astoundingly beautiful photo. And the words are right on target.
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Thanks JoAnne <3. Appreciate it. I found the photo through Creative Commons.
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I like this! I like how you mentioned the energy that is trapped because we are still holding on to the past. That energy if channeled into our present can fruit so well! Thank you Deborah… This was truly a lovely post.
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Thanks so much Prajakta. ❤
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Beautiful photos Deborah and some very important words. Relationships often fall into the category of letting go that you describe. At least they did for me. “Letting go so you can grow” is such a difficult concept to accept.
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Thank You Dan. Yes it can be about relationships too. I think that can be the hardest thing to let go of because we can be dependent on a person being there.
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For me, at least on one occasion, it was more that I didn’t understand that I could let go. As if I thought it wasn’t allowed.
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Yes we do not give ourselves permission and we have these expectations we have somehow set up for ourselves. Rules or standards that we think we are supposed to follow. Like for me it is not admitting defeat or giving up and seeing that as a bad thing instead of thinking of it as what is the best thing for me and it is ok to stop doing something if it is making me unhappy and is not really for me.
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I agree with you AGAIN, Deborah! It’s certainly not easy to let go, but it can be liberating. I’m still working on developing this ability, but, as they say, one’s life is work in progress. 🙂
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Me too Anna, definitely a work in progress. 🙂
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I struggle with letting go, too–especially when I have to acknowledge that something didn’t work: I really want to “get my money’s worth,” and that isn’t possible.
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I’ve gotten better at this in recent years. To be willing to let go of a job that is not working for me even though I don’t know what I will replace it with. Not just sticking it out.
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This was such a beautiful post. ❤
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Thanks so much Colleen ❤
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What an amazing post! It comes at a perfect time for me! Thank you, thank you!
Ps: Sister Joan was on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday show this past week… Hope you got to watch it!
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Thank You Lia ❤ I am glad you found this post helpful. It has been an issue I have been thinking about recently. I did not see Sister Joan but maybe the show is on You Tube. 🙂
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Thanks for this insightful post! So many ways to “let go.” I really like what you said about “sitting with the not knowing for a while.”
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Thank You. I think that can be the hardest part the sitting with the not knowing as we find our way through.
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Thank you, Deborah, for another insightful post. I work on this issue and process, too. It brought to mind something I’d like to share with you here, attributed to the Buddha:
“In the end, only three things matter:
how much you loved,
how gently you lived, and
how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
xx, Audrey
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Thanks Audrey. ❤ I had not heard that quote and it really applies to this post very much. Thanks for sharing it. ❤
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So true, and a very poignant post for me as well. There are so many things in life that are just out of our control. I certainly have a greater amount of success in the letting go department now, than I did in younger years.
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Me too. I am able to let go a bit sooner than in previous years. Maybe I have realized I do not have time to waste. 🙂
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Letting it go is one of the healthiest things we can do. Thank you for the reminder.
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Thanks John.
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Thank you as well.
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Wise words, Deborah. Thanks for linking! 🙂
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Thanks Linda. ❤
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Beautiful, inspiring post. I love what you wrote here and agree. We do need to trust and have faith– and muster up the courage to take the first step. Lovely, and true. Thank you for this.
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Thank You ❤
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